Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit)
by Christy Anderson
Summary: A visitor gets inexplicably tangled up with the crew of Voyager, bringing a message about the future and a lesson about life and death...
1. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 1

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters**

**Time's Chosen is the 4th part to a series of five stories I began a year ago as of December 27. The theme behind this segment was inspired by the events I went through when my own great-grandfather died. Death is unavoidable, but what matters most is what you've done in life. Because this segment is so personal to me, I wrote it, for the most part, with the intent that anyone could read this without ever having seen the other three parts- Void of Night, Stars of Night, and Child of Night. I would like to thank those who have been patient with me throughout all of this, and I promise, that this story will be posted faster than my last one. This part here is a little confusing, it's meant to be. By the end of the story, you'll understand this. Enjoy!**

**This is dedicated to my late great grandfather, Stanley Dziezyk, and my friend Mara for her patience and input.**

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**Time's Chosen: Part 1**

_The sound of a strange eagle's call rang out in the air as the magnificent creature of a rhen nervously circled overhead. Bright morning light shone above the valley, and the scent of Enkarrian roses drifted on the breeze that carved its way through the canyon. On the edge of the tallest precipice was the figure of a young man, with wisdom noticeably beyond his years. He wore a white robe that covered all but his head and his hands. If one had looked upon his face they might have seen naked truth that gleamed through his clear blue eyes and rested sealed in his Etruscan smile. Standing there, the figure felt the wind grow stronger now with the rising sun- passion winds, the natives called them, coming up with the vibrant colors of the day, a promise for good tidings. And he stretched his hands into the air above him with the morning fervor, the white magic of time spilling around his limbs up to his fingertips._

_He knelt down before a bush, and with definite purpose worked his hands capably above the place where one might have seen a certain twelve stubs, looking as fresh as the day their flowers were cut off of them. In a blinding flash, twelve garden-fresh roses materialized in midair, and, he paused, gulping, knowing the hard task that lay before him. As he began to rework what he had done months ago with such fervor, time began to do its part, realigning the severed time frames. As bright as a dying star, within moments the freshness and the beauty of the roses soon aged to withering and then to dust as they emerged fully in their own time frame, back in their proper place. The man stood up with the wind in the control of his hands, and with an unprecedented tear running down his cheek, he ordered the wind to dissipate the last of their remains to the spot he was sure he only knew now in his memory. As he smelt the scented dust for the last time, he turned his head and whispered, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," knowing within himself that she would understand. With his command, the wind soon blew off in a powerful gust with its mournful purpose and message._

_With omnipotent thoughts, he could place himself there, off of Enkarri… far away and back, back with people whom he had helped, and in turn learned from. The rhen cried out again, soaring through the sky, on giant wings like those of eagles, reminding him once again that life was precious, life was fleeting, life was timed, and life ended… all too soon… It was a miracle that could not be recreated nor sustained. In three magnificent strokes, the native Enkarrian bird landed lightly, on the precipice, where the figure had stood just moments before._

_In the blink of an eye the man had followed the wind, with an unwilling longing, displacing himself in time once again, and reappearing in space where he knew the vessel would just be crossing the frontier horizon. As the U.S.S. Voyager flew into view at warp speed, the strange apparition brought himself floating above the hull, ignoring the appeal of peaking in the windows. He raised his arms up for one last time… and suddenly stopped with doubts. He remembered them- he remembered them all- and the dream that held them all together. They were 147 unique individuals with one common dream, and a selfless spirit, with the indestructible bond of friendship. They were strong; they were heroes. One day, and he smiled because he knew that very day, they all would make it home, to Earth, one day… he heaved the heavy sigh in his chest counting just how many times he had revisited that day. With comfort, he realized that one day, she would be there too, now, alive._

_He felt her heart, with the hundreds of others, and he knew that she would be all right. This was his goodbye. He had to do this- it would release them all, himself included- there were no second doubts, nothing to hold him back, just the understanding he harbored as he reached his arms up again and summoned on the magic of time, calling gray clouds and dark skies above where he stood. But the form was far away, in the Alpha Quadrant, working on the life of someone else, as it began to rain._

**To be continued…**


	2. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 2

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters**

**Here's part two- hot off the press! Thanks for all of your feedback so far. The only other notes I would like to make is for those who have never read the other sections. This story takes place during season 3, before Seven of Nine. Tre'kent is a Moheelean, an alien from the Delta Quadrant that Christy fell in love with.**

**Time's Chosen: Part 2**

The lights aboard Voyager were dimmed as if in mourning. As the time drew near, I stood nervously in Transporter Room 2, waiting for the doors to open. Finally I heard footsteps from the corridor and hurried back to my station just as the doors swished open.

"Christy!" the voice gasped, "I didn't think that you would come."

I coolly shook my head at Tre'kent. "I am on duty, sir." The words flew like ice from my mouth. How could he leave?

After a year spent aboard Voyager, Tre'kent, a Moheelean, was about to depart back to his homeworld, Tritain, on a Talaxian freighter. He had taken refuge aboard Voyager on Stardate 49961.4 when the government of his country had condemned him as a rebel. For the past week I had argued with him, and even pleaded- but my efforts fell on the deafened ears of a determined and stubborn individual. Four weeks ago he had received new that his mother was ill. Now, only hours before, he had received another transmission, informing him that his mother was going to die. B'Elanna and Harry had discovered that the transmission was anywhere from four to five months old, but despite that fact, Tre'kent had to return home. He was bound by the Moheelean Sacred Oath of Honor to be there in the hour of death of his parents.

"You're still angry with me," Tre'kent observed out loud. He shifted his bags on his shoulder and after a while drew in a deep breath. "But after last night, I didn't expect you to be here," he persisted.

"The Captain will be calling for your transport any minute- you best hurry," I cautioned stoically.

For a while he kept silent and ignored the growing tension of the moment. "I sort of remember hearing that you yell that you never wanted to see me again," he suddenly interjected.

"Dang it Tre'kent! Do you have to play with my heart like this?!" I yelled. "Do you know how much this is hurting me?"

His face softened incredibly. "I love you, Christy, I wouldn't leave you if"

"If what?" I interrupted furiously. "Why do you have to return to a place where you have no future? Within seconds of your mother's death, the sacred oath will be broken, and they'll seize you and try you for treason. Even if you managed to escape, you would need a shuttlecraft, and you would have to pass through Borg territory alone. What are your chances?!"

"That's not fair of you to decide for me!" he yelled back. "You are not Goddess of the Universe!" Silence fell upon our astonished faces as I shut my eyes and shook my head back and forth.

"You're right," I whispered as I looked down at my feet, "I'm sorry."

With tears in his eyes, Tre'kent laughed. "No, I'm sorry," he apologized. I stood up in time to see his catching smile come over his face as he dropped everything and put his arms around me. "Christy," he said thankfully, "I didn't think that you would come to say goodbye."

"I could not stay away," I whispered softly, "I love you"

Tre'kent put his hand over my mouth. "You don't have to apologize because you are hurting. I'm the source of that, but I love you, Christy, and I wouldn't leave"

Now it was my turn to stop him as I buried my face in his chest, pulling him closer, actions speaking louder than any words of comfort we could ever offer each other. In turn he grasped me even tighter. In his embrace I felt safe and I never wanted him to let go. I would never be here again if he left. "Christy," he muttered softly in my ear, "I'll come back someday, I promise."

"Of course," I answered as my voice cracked in my throat. "And I can show you earth, and we'll have all of those good times we talked about and everything will be fine" I rambled on insanely.

"Of course," he replied as he kissed me. When I opened my eyes, there were tears slipping down his cheek. He drew in an unsteady breath and began to find his voice. "Come with me," he asked uncertainly.

I drew back slightly. "I am needed here"-

"I know," Tre'kent interrupted, "but I just had to make sure."

I forced a smile as I hugged him even tighter. How much longer did we have? "I brought a holo-imager," I offered weakly.

"For what?" he asked with a slight lilt in his voice.

"To take your photograph so I'll always remember" I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Would you ever forget?" he questioned mischievously.

I shook my head and gulped. "Never." I took a few paces back from him. "Now smile."

The imager whizzed and turned recording his face, his saddened blue eyes, and his short brown curls permanently when the button clicked.

"Janeway to Transporter Room Two," the Comm system interrupted.

"Lieutenant Anderson here," I responded professionally.

"Christy? - Lieutenant, is Mr. Tre'kent ready for transport?" The Captain asked.

"In a few seconds Captain" I answered.

"Very well," came the response.

I rushed up to Tre'kent and kissed him one more time, then helped him place his bags back on the transporter pad. Standing back at the station I made the preparations for the transport. "I'll wait for you," I promised Tre'kent as I shifted my glance quickly back down to the panel screen.

"Christy," Tre'kent called softly. He waited till I raised my glance level with his eyes. "Say thanks to Harry for me." I nodded without understanding. **And Christy, **Tre'kent transmitted telepathically, **don't wait forever.**

"Janeway to Transporter Room Two. Energize."

Tre'kent stood silent on the transporter pad for a moment. **I love you with all my heart,** he transmitted quickly.

"I love you too," I whispered to the air as I raised the confinement beam, and he was gone. I felt so alone.

Four hours later found me in Holodeck One, Sandrine's at the Grand Baldwin Piano with the annoyingly cheerful characters all long put back in the holo-buffer. Measures of Chopin's Nocturne in f Minor flowed from my fingertips and out of the strings, filling the air with its solemn melody. It was strangely comforting. I had not practiced in over three years, but somehow the time with the piano gave me newfound strength to face the facts before me. I was not going to run this time, and I wasn't going to pretend to make it all go away either. There was strength within me, inside of me.

Only halfway through for the twenty-sixth time, the holodeck doors hissed open and I ignored the sound of heavy footsteps behind me. On and on I continued to play until the very last cord when I was startled by the sound of applause. "Very beautiful," Harry's voice called out.

"Thank you," I returned softly as I stood up from the bench. "My mother always loved it when I played that piece"

"I like it too," Harry interjected cheerily.

"But she always said it was so depressing," I finished.

Harry laughed. "That it is," he said awkwardly. There was a long moment of silence. "So, he's gone my prayers are with him."

"Mine too," I voiced meekly, the tears slowly returning.

"Will he be coming back?" Harry asked quietly.

With tears flowing down me face I shook my head. How could he?

Harry bit his lip and looked as if he wished that he had never voiced the question. "Want to go to the Mess Hall and get a snack?" he offered compassionately.

Gulping back the choking feeling in my throat I nodded. "That would be nice," I thanked him, as he put his arm around my shoulder and we left the room in silence.

**To be continued**


	3. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 3

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters**

**Time's Chosen: Part 3**

"So why don't we head down to the Holodeck and try out the new holo-novel I put together? It's about a television action hero in the early 1950s" Tom began to say.

"Don't you have forty some evasive moves to memorize before tomorrow?" Harry interrupted with a grin. Tom shook his head as if he knew what was coming.

I laughed. "The Captain will not be too happy if we meet the Borg and you get us assimilated because you cannot stay ahead of them."

Tom threw his hands up in dramatic despair. "We don't even know if they are out there! It has all been speculation, but ever since B'Elanna discovered that that blasted probe had stopped transmitting, everybody's been on edge. So now we go to briefings, and instead of ignoring me, the Captain decides to hand me new evasive maneuvers to memorize every time. I don't see why the Starfleet regulation maneuvers aren't good enough."

Harry patted his friend on the back. "Nice try, but it doesn't even cut close for an excuse," he teased. "Besides, you know as well as I do, that if a ship is assimilated in the Alpha Quadrant, Starfleet changes all encryption codes, all shield frequencies, all attack patterns, and all evasive maneuvers. And since we have no way of knowing that, it is better to just assume."

"You should get started," I advised as I took another bite of the Talaxian concoction in front of me. It sort of tasted like chewy jello, much different from yesterday's flavor of spoiled yams.

Tom made a face. "So what do you two have to do to prepare for the Borg anyway?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Who do you think has to help Tuvok install extra security around Engineering, Sickbay, Cargo Bays 1 and 2, and the Bridge?" he asked rhetorically.

"And who do you think had to come up with all of those new evasive maneuvers and attack patterns?" I asked with an evil grin.

Tom dropped his fork. "You are the one responsible for torturing me?" he exclaimed astonishingly.

"Well it wasn't Santa Claus" I answered, "but you better get started. As the inventor, I can tell you one thing- those maneuvers are very difficult. Not one rotation matches regulation maneuvers, and compared to what you need to memorize for the Academy exam, this has to be the larger of the two evils."

Tom shook his head and took another bite of his spaghetti. "Great," he mumbled, settling down into melancholic silence.

"That just leaves us," Harry said unexpectedly.

"Hmm?" I asked, pulling out of my daze.

"You are off duty next, right Christy?"

A slight uncomfortable look spread over my face. "Of course," I began, "but"

"But what?" Harry rhetorically asked, skirting my objection. "I have a new holo-training program, along with a few unspent hours, and I would like for you to join me."

Tom almost spit out the coffee he was drinking. "For what, Harry? An exercise session?" he demanded. "After all these years, why the sudden urge to get in shape?"

Harry shot Tom a look of death. "It's not to get in shape. Remember that mission on Cellon?" Harry asked hotly.

An air of somberness descended on both of us- as if we could forget every casualty that came our way. "Ensign Lindsay Ballard's death" I whispered. "But that was a month ago, Harry, you cannot blame yourself for that."

Harry's face saddened as he drew in a deep breath, trying to resolve the matter. "Look, I created the program to teach us how to defend ourselves when our phasers don't work. We can learn archery"

"You wouldn't be able to make a bow and arrow fast enough," I pointed out realistically.

"Fencing!" exclaimed Tom excitedly.

"No swords," I reminded him playfully. "What about staffs?"

Tom nodded. "They are easily constructed," he pointed out.

Harry became more animated as the heated discussion flew on. "Staffs it is!" he shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. "Let's go!" he continued as he gallivanted towards the exit. Suddenly he spun around and pointed at Tom. "But not you. You have maneuvers to memorize."

I began to feel uncomfortable. "I don't think I should go either, Harry; I really do"

"Come on, Christy," Tom interrupted as he grabbed my arm. A shadow crossed over his eyes. "At least you will get to have fun."

I shook my head and put on a wry smile. "The Captain gave me an assignment I should really finish today," I lied.

Tom stared into my eyes and dropped his voice in consideration, "What assignment, Christy? You are a horrible liar." He paused for a moment as Harry came over. "Come on, Tre'kent left a week ago. As hard as it may seem, you have to get over it," he continued, "and the best way is to get out."

My face hardened as I pulled my arm back. Tears that I had pushed back threatened to spill, and raw emotions contorted my face. How could he say that? "I have to go," I squeaked, and ran out of the Mess Hall. 

"You had to bring it up," I could hear Harry hiss as I ran out of the Mess Hall. I ran and I ran to the Turbo-lift and to the closed Astrometrics Lab on Deck 6, feeling as if they all were on my trail, chasing me. I needed air, and my mind needed to be occupied.

The dark Astrometrics Lab loomed before me down the hall. The Captain had shut it down five weeks ago declaring it a drain on power. Recently, it had become my goal to redesign it so that the lab would become more power efficient. Although I had begun on different thoughts of designs weeks ago, the real work of remodeling had started after Tre'kent had left, which entailed the inevitable breach in protocol- breaking and entering- and unauthorized repairs.

I opened the panel to the right of the doors with an adaptable phasor that I had attached to my belt. Hidden inside was a manual 'can opener' that was usually used to open jammed doors in the Jeffries tubes. I had taken a spare from Cargo Bay 2 yesterday and hid it inside the panel. Setting the opener aside, I carefully rewired the circuits for the sensors so that even Tuvok would not be able to detect the activity. I twisted the doors to Astrometrics open and set some of the other stuff that I had hidden behind the panel down inside.

"Computer," I commanded after I had reattached the panel outside, "mask Lieutenant Anderson's Comm badge signal. Log her new coordinates as 'Personal Quarters.' The computer beeped. I took in a deep breath. "Initiate Transport Anderson 4."

With a blue twinkling flash, four crude batteries appeared at the side of the room along with a mound made up of data PADDs. I quickly set into my work, overriding more circuits and bypassing relays so that any work that I would do could not be detected. I carefully hauled a homemade battery over to the side and delicately disconnected a gel pack, careful not to damage the precious resource. With my Engineering training, B'Elanna could not have stressed enough how important it was that these things lasted. Gradually I reconnected the pathways to the positive and negative ends of my homemade battery. Eight wires to go, and the battery, I hoped, would power the room for eight hours while I worked to reconfigure the sensors.

Sparks flew to the other side of the room as the fifth wire split. In pain I flew up from my work, disconnecting all the newly connected wires. "Curses!" I yelled as I looked at my slightly burned hand. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. I could replicate a dermal regenerator when I went back to my quarters. I looked at the battery and was disappointed when I realized that the all the wiring had to be redone.

Just then another set of white sparks flew from the center of the room, and the air became distinctly heavy. Jumping to my feet, I stared a familiar stranger in the face. The man was dressed in a white robe and, even though he had looked right at me, he turned back to the power dome in the center of the lab. Raising his hands above it, he slowly brought the dome sputtering to life.

With my heart pounding in my throat, I whipped out my triicorder. "Who are you?" I yelled when I realized that his lifesign could not be detected.

The stranger just ignored me. Like a natural response, I took a few steps back and hit my Comm badge. "Lieutenant Anderson to the Bridge. Intruder in Astrometrics; I repeat, intruder in the Astrometrics Lab."

"Lieutenant, what are you doing in there?" the Captain responded angrily.

Suddenly, with the dome at full power, the man spun around, his face hidden. Spookily, he raised his one arm towards me and shot out an energy bolt. In a flash, I dodged with only seconds to spare. The display panel behind me shattered as he threw two more bolts. Instantly I fell to my knees with weakness as the last one struck me.

Crumpled on the floor I saw the figure come near and then disappear. "Watch and learn," a voice whispered as I began to black out.

"Christy!" a voice shouted from far away as people began to struggle with the locked doors. "Christy!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_"Christy!" someone yelled, shaking my shoulders. "Wake up or you will be late!"_

_Sleepily I opened my eyes to find my head on a soft pillow. "Ohh" I groaned as I stretched. That energy bolt must have really worn me out I thought to myself. "Energy bolt! Voyager!" I exclaimed, bolting upright, suddenly realizing that my surroundings were no longer familiar._

_"It's okay," a comforting voice answered, "you were only dreaming. Third nightmare you've had this week."_

_I realized that the voice belonged to Tre'kent. His face came into view as he kissed me on the cheek. "I'll make you breakfast," he offered cheerily. "After all, today's the day you may get your captaining assignment."_

_Where am I? I asked myself, looking at an unfamiliar room. Outwardly I chuckled. "Why am I asking myself such stupid questions?" I mumbled out loud. I lumbered off the bed while I struggled for answers. Stop! I yelled in vain at myself. It was as if I was not in control of my own body or my own thoughts. **Watch and learn** the words came back to me. Was this some sort of vision, dream?_

_"What day is it?" I finally found myself able to ask when I came into the Kitchen._

_Tre'kent looked at me funny. "Stardate 78891.230" he answered._

_I shrugged in frustration, too distraught to calculate the conversion myself. "No, what day is it?"_

_"May 27," he chimed, "The Captain's birthday are you going to go see her?"_

_"Janeway is an admiral now," I mechanically corrected harshly. "And no," I continued, "I hadn't thought about going to the hospital. It's too weird to even think about confronting her."_

_"After all she did?" he persisted._

_"Yes!" I yelled. What am I saying?? I yelled then at myself. Was this some out-of-body experience?_

_Suddenly a baby started to cry. Tre'kent shot me a look. "You should really be more quiet now" But instead of finishing, he broke off and just shook his head in frustration. "Never mind, Christy, I'll get her."_

_Her? I asked myself, following him on his heels. Tre'kent stopped in a different room in front of a crib, picking up a small child. Tenderly he sang to her in hopes to stop her wails. **Your daughter **a voice revealed. Instinctually I moved forward to the infant and kissed her head. "Mother is sorry, Kaethe," I heard myself whisper. I picked up her tiny hand in mine. "What year is it?" I finally could ask as I rested my head against Tre'kent's, staring at the child, suddenly in control._

_"The year is 2383," he answered with confusion, "Why?"_

_10 years later? How can I be 10 years in the future? I shook my head as I lifted my daughter's little hand. There was something gnawing at the back of my mind- I needed to look her hand in the light, one more time. How would she live her fated life without me? Why was she chosen to follow in my footsteps? Would she stray as much as I had? -- What were these questions? Where was the present? "It can't be," I continued, not sure if it was my frustrations or something else that caused me to say this._

_Tre'kent raised his eyebrows and stared at me peculiarly. "Can't be what?"_

_What is this? I thought again as the doorbell rang. The sound snapped me back to reality. Something inside of me hardened, a determined will to go through with what I had planned and end the madness. "I'll get that, Tre'kent," I volunteered softly, kissing him goodbye on the cheek. "After all, I should be on my way."_

_Tre'kent instantly looked concerned. "What about breakfast?" he asked._

_"I'll come home for lunch," I promised or rather lied as I ran to the door. Without thinking, I found myself pressing the button to exit. The door swung open to reveal my Father._

_Father? I cried with unbelief. But instead, I felt every bone in my body stiffen. "How dare you come back here!" I found myself yelling as I blatantly pulled the door shut. "I could take you to court for breaking the restraining order!"_

_"BittePlease," my Father cried._

_My eyes flashed angrily. "Speak English!" I yelled. "If you have forgotten, I gave up German a long time ago, specifically the moment I found out that you had betrayed me."_

_"Ich möchte nur mein Enkelkind sehen I only want to see my granddaughter."_

_I shook my head. "You're dangerous!" I yelled. "You altered my DNA when I was a little girl- what do you want to do with my daughter? I made it clear in court- the moment you made the decision to let that doctor experiment on me years ago, was the moment you relinquished any rights as my Father. You lied to me for how many years?! Go away- you have no privilege to be here!"_

_"Meine Tochter, hören bitte auf mich! Christy, daughter, please, listen to me! I am sorry for what happened in a million years I could not make my mistake up to you in any way. But what do I have to do to convince you that I have changed?" my Father shouted as he grabbed my arm._

_"Nothing! Your right- there is nothing you can do! I could not even begin to forgive you in a million years!" I shouted._

_My Father grasped my arm even tighter. "I let all of that go Christy from the time that you were 12- I called it off, I called it all off! Es ist nicht zu Ihrer Mutter und zu selbst angemessen It is not fair to have your Mother and I suffer"_

_I felt all sympathy slipping away as I saw the tears in his eyes. I snatched my arm away, sensing the eyes of Tre'kent through the window. "Leave now," I interrupted, "before we do something that we'll both regret." I caught the oncoming tears in my throat and I pulled away. "I have to go now," I said, heading out to the Transport station, leaving my Father behind._

_Starfleet headquarters was only six minutes away, at the most. Strangely, I remembered walking to my office everyday for the past six years. Six years- hardly! This had to be some sort of vision! I could not explain the experience to myself, but it felt like watching someone live my life, and only able to break in now and then. I watched myself walk the way to work, and then turn around. I saw the tears falling down my face, and I felt the loss of control and the knife-like emotions that I had bottled up, now being poured out lavishly. Instead of heading directly to the office, I found myself ten minutes later at the hospital, trying to sort out the awkwardness of the argument, and knowing that I would be late for my meeting._

_Why could I not gain control? What was going on? I remembered being in Astrometrics and the energy bolt, or had the stranger touched me? Right before I blacked out, I remembered the figure in front of me- he had touched me. I shook my head as I walked up to the Turbo-lift. "Deck 5," I commanded as it began to whirl. "What am I going to say to her?" I asked myself out loud. "Happy Birthday, that's it, just Happy Birthday."_

_I walked to Room 515, and rang the buzzer on the side of the door. "Enter," came Harry's voice from inside of the room. As the doors hissed open, I walked through them. What I saw hit me like an oncoming vehicle, and I was almost in control enough to gasp. They all looked so different, so old, as if they had already lived through a lifetime of trials and loss. The happiness I had once seen daily in their eyes was gone. Everyone in the room now wore a bleak expression of sorrow._

_"Good morning!" I greeted the room uncomfortably. The Captain, who was sitting up in bed smiled._

_"To what do we owe this great honor, Lieutenant?" she asked sarcastically._

_I looked at the rapidly aging woman. Despite what had happened, she would always be Captain to me. She had earned that place of respect in my young heart, forever, no matter what would happen. "Happy Birthday!" I yelled, ignoring her previous comment. Why didn't I give her a hug? What was wrong with me?_

_I glanced around the room- Harry, the Doctor, Chakotay, and a bunch of bright neon balloons surrounded Janeway. "Its nice to see you, Christy," Harry began. "We do not see much of you these days"_

_"It is nice to see you too, Ensign Kim," I managed to return formally._

_A strange look came over his face as if he was trying to assess the situation further than what seemed to be. "Captain," he corrected. "Remember? Captain Kim"_

_At that moment, I was able to gape, but the moment of control soon fled. I turned back to Janeway in confusion. "Did Tuvok come by to see you, Admiral?" I questioned._

_Janeway looked even more perplexed than Harry. "Tuvok is on Deep Space Nine fighting off the Dominion. I suppose you didn't hear." Her words were measured, full of anger and hatred. "Opps, I almost forgot," she continued, "it was you who assigned him there."_

_Chakotay glanced up at me, ignoring the previous moment. "Why don't you sit for a while, and visit with us? You don't seem to be yourself today."_

_I managed to give a wry smile just like the one I gave to Tom and Harry a few minutes ago, I compared in my mind. It seemed as if I was about to repeat that lie all over again. I felt the familiar words on the tip of my tongue, but instead said something completely different. "I am sorry, but I cannot stay; I have a meeting with General Bullock, and I wanted to stop by at least. I really need to be on my way now, though."_

_The silence deepened threateningly. The mood in the air switched, and the hostility was open enough for all to be sensed. "What bothers you most, Christy?" The Captain asked icily before I made it out the door._

_I turned around to face her. "Excuse me, ma'am?"_

_Her eyes widened with cynicism as she dramatized an expression of complete and venomous surprise. "I had no idea we were so formal, you and I So, Lieutenant Christy Anderson, what bothers you the most?" I stared blankly at her, holding my breath. "Is it my injury that bothers you so, or the little quarrel we had three years ago?"_

_I felt myself go cold. "This is not the time to discuss this matter," I challenged her seriously._

_"My Birthday!" she exclaimed, "Why it is a perfectly marvelous time! After all, I am a paraplegic because of your error."_

_"It was a long time ago!" I yelled, feeling something give way inside myself._

_"Had you been paying attention to your console, it would not have been," she pointed out underhandedly, trying to sow more seeds of guilt and shame._

_"It was an accident!" I hollered, my temper seething, " I'm sorry that you have become a broken old woman who has nothing better to do but feel sorry for herself. If you think that I will feel guiltily forever indebted to you for your protective legal services in court to prosecute the doctors that performed experiments on me or for the injury that you sustained while under my watch at the science station, you are seriously mistaken!"_

_The Captain looked pleasantly surprised. "You must be careful not to lose that temper in public, or you may end up on the insanity floor above me, young fledgling. I must admit I enjoy to see you struggle so, flying on your own now."_

_I scowled as I turned to leave. "Happy Birthday, and goodbye, Admiral Janeway may all your birthday wishes come true." The words, forced as they were, had been packed with hate and distaste._

_I raced out of the room, but it was too late. Even as I ran down the hall to the Turbo-lifts, five seconds later, a strong grasp clenched my arm. "How dare you come here to upset her!" Chakotay's voice rebuked._

_"Did you see her in there? She asked for it," I hissed._

_"It's her birthday!" he returned, there was more than innocent concern and indignation in his eyes "And after all that she did for you"_

_"It's not my fault that she has to be so bitter to everyone but herself!" I interrupted._

_"You could have put on a happy face and smiled and cared for someone other than yourself for once in your life," he suggested angrily, clearly upset that I had spoken to her so. "You know what she has suffered, and yet you insist on making her life miserable! You are not the only one who has been cheated in life of all they ever loved or hoped for"_

_"How dare you make that accusation, Commander!" I yelled with hurt in my eyes. I did not want to say these mean things. What was so wrong? What had happened to turn us all against each other?_

_His eyes zeroed in on me, as if he had for the first time sensed that something was terribly awry. "I retired a long time ago from Starfleet in case you forgot" he whispered harshly. "You seem to have forgotten a great deal today."_

_Harry came out into the hall just in time to see what all the arguing was about. But the moment of possible epiphany was lost. "She cares about you the most, now," Chakotay continued, not at all phased by Harry's appearance in the corridor. "You were her hope. It was in you that she buried all of her training and wisdom. She waits and waits for you to visit and when you do, you crush her spirits! It was bad enough she lost Seven to the pursuits of Starfleet scientists."_

_"Who's Seven?" I yelled back at him in total confusion._

_An angry look passed over his face. "Don't even try it," he challenged._

_"You're right! I don't know why I even try!" I admitted, "Especially since every time that I do come out here, she brings the old arguments up again."_

_"On Voyager she gave you her best- attention and freedom to pursue your goals. When we arrived back at Earth, she helped you prosecute the doctors that altered your DNA. Is this how you repay her?!"_

_The Doctor burst out of the room, his eyes livid with resentment. "Honestly!" he yelled. "Take this argument somewhere else. You both are making things worse."_

_"That's not necessary, Doctor," I murmured. "I have to go."_

_When I arrived at my office, it was thirty minutes passed the time that I should have been at the briefing. Like I expected, an active file blinked on the main display. I hit the button to play it. Admiral Bullock's face came over the screen. "Lieutenant Anderson- you missed our meeting this morning at 07:00 hours. Your absence was duly noted. I have called to inform you that the board has decided to pass over your request to captain the third subsequent mission to the Delta Quadrant. However, we are quite pleased with your work as the Director of"_

_In disgust, I shut off the display. What was that all about? I asked myself as pulled out a phaser. I looked at it in disgust too. That position was the last straw, the last tie to keep me from my decision. **You have pushed away everyone. Your heart has forgotten how to love, **the voice now boomed. How true how true! I thought. It was as if I was at the end of a very long chain of dominoes, watching the effect of my mistakes, now tumbling everything around me at an alarming rate._

_Tre'kent would be all right without me- our marriage had gone so wrong. It was even more wrong to chain him to a life of bitterness. I pushed him so far away everyday that his affections meant little to me- I wasn't worthy to be loved. Now the Captain and the crew- I saw how they all had been affected by me, even the youngest. I thought about the meeting that I had had with Naomi the past day. I remembered her mother's death too from years ago; we had gotten to the caves too late. Voyager had been too late to save her, and all because of me. I had been too distracted with other things to find Samantha in time. Naomi lived with Neelix now; I had heard that her own father had gone insane during the years that Voyager was gone. She had become an orphan with a troubled past. Even the Captain and Chakotay were far better off without me to argue with. Every time that I made an effort, I only added to their pain. I had been Janeway's hope, even Chakotay had realized it, and I had disappointed her when I had decided to draw away from everyone that I had known on Voyager. She did not care that I had decided to send Tuvok off to fight the Dominion. I had hurt everyone that I had cherished in life. But despite Janeway's feelings, Tom and B'Elanna had refused to see me the moment after I had initialed the reassignment of Tuvok. Why had I done it? What was I talking about? Why had my life gone so wrong? And my Father pain came over my eyes as I realized how much I had loved him at one time._

_Had loved? I asked myself with rising panic. I looked at the phaser. **Your choices, your death, **a voice boomed. **This will be repeated if you do not learn. **I understood the circle now- if I ended my life, the circle would be incomplete-- the magic of time would find a new end, and a new beginning. What was I talking about!? I yelled in futility at myself as I slowly raised the phaser. I gulped- so this was good-bye._

_**Christy! **Tre'kent's voice shouted._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Christy?" the Captain asked me as I came to. "Are you all right?"

**To be continued**


	4. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 4

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters...**

**Author's Note: I think that this part is probably my favorite out of what I have written so far... typical Voyager adventure at the end. You'll see what I mean. Thanks for everyone who has sent feedback, it's appreciated very much. _Alle für jetzt..._ All for now-- Christy**

**Time's Chosen: Part 4**

"I think that she is coming to," the Doctor said. I heard the noise of a triicorder above me and groaned. "Here, help her sit up."

I sucked in my breath a little too sharply in an attempt to do it myself. "Voyager?" I whispered, tears threatening to overtake me.

"Yes," the Doctor answered as if he was talking to a small child. "You are on Voyager, Christy. Do you remember what happened?"

I looked up to meet the intense gazes of my peers. Could I tell them of the bleak future I had seen? Could I even begin to explain what I could not understand? "The intruder," I finally managed to force out, trying to catch my breath.

"Who was he?" Tuvok questioned. "Did you know him? Did you recognize his species?"

I shook my head in confusion. "I can't really say," I began. "I don't know who he was, and I didn't recognize his species, but he looked familiar."

Tuvok knelt down with sudden interest. "In what way?"

I grimaced as another jolt of pain went through my head. "I can't really say," I answered softly. I was still trying to take it all in- was I really back? From over in the corner, two Engineering crews rummaged through the mess.

"Someone's disconnected the gel pack!" B'Elanna exclaimed out of the blue. Tuvok rushed over immediately to investigate.

"We must be cautious, Captain," Tuvok began after he had examined the severed neural pathways for a few minutes. "This was done expertly. Whoever did this had a deep understanding of our integral systems. The pathways were disengaged with chilling preciseness, and they diverted all sensor activity through a loop in the Mess Hall. They could have been tracking us for weeks, observing us. I suggest we proceed by deploying security details all over the ship to manually search for such an intruder."

I sighed and cleared my throat, even now not feeling as if I was still in full control. "You are mistaken, Tuvok. The intruder did not disconnect the gel pack," I gulped, "I did."

The Doctor came over and ran some more triicorder scans, clearly undisturbed by the events around him. I heard additional movement around me. "And would you care to tell me how you got in Astrometrics? And what exactly you were planning to do?" the Captain snapped.

I winced at the sound of her voice. "I apologize, Captain This was an unwise decision" I looked up to meet her intense gaze. She began to open her mouth, but the Doctor cut her off.

"This is hardly a time for a discussion," he cut in. "You can resume it later after my patient has had the proper medical treatment."

"No," I said sternly. "I am at fault. I broke in to repair the lab. It was a selfish and foolish decision. I broke the rules, and I expect to be punished."

"What was the point?" she challenged with unbelief.

My mouth was dry. "I wanted to do something to occupy my mind. Repairing the lab seemed like a logical choice."

"Logical?" the Captain scoffed.

"Wait a second," Harry interrupted from the other side of the room. "I think I found something Look at this" The Captain pulled away from me to look. Harry was shaking his head skeptically, looking at his triicorder. "I cannot get any straight readings," he commented. "I don't understand. The triicorder says that the object contains some sort of organic fluid."

"Organic?" Neelix exclaimed. "How is that possible?" I looked up in the direction of his voice. I hadn't even noticed that he was in the room until now. It would only make the explanation harder.

"Perhaps it is some sort of explosion device. I am reading strong electrical charges," Tuvok put in.

"There's some sort of crude wiring on it though," B'Elanna caught on. You could always count on her to be right on target. "It almost looks as if it was designed to be put in place of a gel pack."

"Perhaps it is some sort of biological agent designed to infect the other gel packs through the neural circuitry," Tuvok suggested.

B'Elanna shook her head. "It looks like it was designed to be some sort of power source."

"It's a battery," I interrupted, too annoyed and shocked to allow the discussion to continue any further. "I was hooking it up to self power the Astrometrics Lab."

Harry looked at me incredulously. "That's dangerous. An organic battery could have exposed our systems to countless numbers of biological agents."

"That's absurd!" I snapped back. "I designed it myself- it is perfectly safe."

"How would you know that? You never had training in Engineering!" the Captain questioned in astonishment, shocked that I would make such a rash choice.

I looked her squarely in the eye. "No," I answered, "but I am being trained now"

"I hope this is not what we are training you for, Lieutenant," she interrupted in anger.

"I tested it on the holodeck- it is perfectly safe."

Harry looked down at the triicorder. "Whatever is in there, it is very acidic. One false move and the whole contraption might have exploded!" _-Thanks, Harry,_ I thought to myself.

"What is in the battery, Christy?" the Captain asked quickly.

I glanced at Neelix, knowing that she would pull it out of me one way or another, but still I did not want to hurt my friend's feelings. "I cannot really say at the moment," I replied, hoping against all odds that she would drop the matter.

The instant the words came out of my mouth, Janeway stared at me, unsure if whether my words were an act of defiance. "Christy," she raised her voice only slightly, but her tone was commanding.

I sighed. "Leola Root Stew, Captain. I spilled some one day and it burned a hole through the carpet. I decided to experiment to see if it could be turned into a power source."

"My stew?" Neelix gasped with hurt in his voice.

"I always knew that was a killer," someone snidely commented from the back of the room.

Captain Janeway shot a look of annoyance in the direction it came from.

"And what about the experiment?" B'Elanna asked quietly. It seemed as if she was the only one not angry with me at the moment.

I gave a smile. "By my calculations, one battery could run the entire ship for six hours with full systems operational."

"How many batteries do you have?" the Captain inquired harshly.

"Six."

"If it is not too much trouble," B'Elanna put in, "I'd like to see those calculations and the schematics for the battery."

"Lieutenant," Janeway challenged irritably.

"Captain," she exclaimed with disbelief, "if Christy is right then we should keep some of these in storage for when we are low on dilithium."

"What about the intruder?" Harry said to change the subject.

His words caused shivers to run down my spine. "He looked so familiar" my voice trailed off.

The Doctor shut his triicorder. "Care to specify why your electrolyte levels are off the scale?" he asked sarcastically.

Suddenly the whole scene, including my vision, came back. "He hit me with some sort of energy bolt," I said softly.

"Energy bolt!" Harry exclaimed, kneeling down as if to double check that I was all right.

"Yes," I began almost dreamily, trying to make sense of the vision. Even now it seemed so far away. "He threw four. One shattered the display behind me."

Harry met my gaze. "Shattered the display," he commented with concern. Slowly I nodded my head. "Behind you," he repeated. I nodded again as his hands took hold of my face gently and showed me the console behind me. There wasn't a scratch.

"It exploded- I am sure of it," I whispered with horror.

Tuvok scanned the display. He raised his eyebrow. "This display has over a million micro fractures. There may be credibility to her story. Is there anything else can you remember, Lieutenant?"

I pointed to the power dome. "He turned the central power dome on."

B'Elanna cleared her throat. She had moved over to one of the power interface consoles. "Well whatever is powering that thing," she began, "it isn't coming from this ship."

Janeway frowned. "What do you mean?"

B'Elanna shrugged. "It looks like we are dealing with an alien power source."

"Anything else, Christy?" the Doctor asked. He grabbed my right hand. Immediately, I grimaced in pain. The Doctor pulled his hand away to stare at my own. "You have burns."

I nodded. "The wire split, and I was shocked. The small explosion singed my hand it isn't that bad"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and pulled out a dermal regenerator. Running it over my hands, he shook his head. "Now, anything else?"

I looked over my shoulders at the others. Even though, the rawness of the experience was fading, I still questioned how much I should tell them. Would it be better if I kept it to myself? Finally, I gulped, trusting within my heart that my friends would understand. They would be able to help. "I had some sort of vision," I began hesitantly.

"Some sort of vision?" the Doctor reiterated, raising his eyebrows.

"I saw the future, I think." I winced again and rubbed my temples. The Doctor immediately administered a hypo spray.

"Don't fret about it," he said shrugging it off, "I sincerely doubt you saw the future. It was probably an after-effect of the energy bolt." I nodded weakly, not quite expecting so hasty a dismissal. "You'll need a day of rest, though," he added quickly. "Captain?"

Janeway seemed to snap out of deep concentration. "I apologize, Doctor. What were you saying?"

"Rest," he answered impatiently.

"Of course," she answered dismissing him with her hand. "Are you finished?"

The Doctor nodded. Captain Janeway set a grim look on her face then cleared her voice. "If you all do not mind, I'd like a moment alone with Lieutenant Anderson."

Her tone had not been extremely loud, but yet everyone piled out of the room as fast as they had came. The Captain gave a heavy sigh and turned back to me where I still sat on the floor. "I am disappointed in you. I expected more from you, Christy."

I nodded slowly. "I'm not sure I could offer you a decent explanation, Captain. I don't know what possessed me to condone my destructive behavior."

The Captain gave a small hint of a smile, offering me a hand up. "I know that these past few weeks have been hard for you, Christy. I know what it feels like to leave a love behind But, you cannot allow this to interfere with your work, let alone your judgement."

I nodded again. "I hope," I started cautiously, "that I have not lost the trust you placed in me."

Now the Captain smiled. "Lost it?" she asked rhetorically. "No, not quite. Tested it? Certainly. But no, Christy, you have not lost my trust."

I smiled graciously. "Thank you, Captain."

She nodded. "Since this is your first offense I'll let it slip by. But know from now on that orders are orders. If I close this lab off, it is to remain closed."

"Understood," I answered.

She gave a slight approving nod. "Good- dismissed- And, after the Doctor allows you to begin your duty shifts again, I expect you to spend your free time cleaning this mess up and helping B'Elanna transform your battery into a revolutionary power source."

The next day, the Doctor had cancelled all of my duty shifts, leaving me too much time to ponder what I had seen. It had been chaos- a parallel dimension, or something. Even to the moment, I could not imagine saying any of those hateful things to the people that had become my friends. For over an hour now, I had sat by myself in the Mess Hall, staring into my cup of Talaxian tea, supposedly guaranteed to drive the most persistent demon of the mind and spirit away. So far, it was not working, as my mind was ever more troubled than usual.

I looked up to see Tom and Harry enter the Mess Hall when the doors hissed open_. Gab es keine Frist für das träge_ was there no respite for the weary? I tried to duck my head out of sight, but it was too late, I had been seen. The two walked directly over to my table.

"Christy!" Harry called. Like Siamese twins, the two troublemakers slid into the two seats across the table. Since Astrometrics, Harry had long apologized for what he had said.

"Good Afternoon," I managed glumly.

Harry looked at Tom. "Perhaps this isn't the best time," he said softly, directing the statement more to Tom than to me.

Tom shook his head and put on his charming smile. "I heard what happened yesterday, and I could not help but overhear that the Doctor gave you the day off."

I nodded. Whatever these two had concocted was going to happen, whether I liked it or not. I could hear the raw determination in Tom's voice.

"Well, if you had not noticed, we have docked at a planet, and Harry and I were wondering if you would like to go on a little 'outing' with us. You know, exploring the more colorful places of the main cities, the museums to the societies of new species where all ranks and classes can commune together as brothers."

As he spoke, I looked abruptly out the window. I had not even noticed that the Captain had planned to stop somewhere. I was sure she would have mentioned it at the earlier briefings, so it had me wonder how much I actually did pay attention to what was said nowadays. Then a realization struck me- this was one plan I planned to stay out of. "I know what is going on," I insinuated coyly, my spirits beginning to improve. "You want to go take a bar trip," I accused.

Tom shifted his glance down to the table, his smile frozen on his features. He was just like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar with that telltale expression of the cat that had just swallowed the bird. I could imagine those little yellow feathers sticking out of his mouth. "Well if you really want to call it that," he responded evasively.

"Oh, no!" I shook my head in disbelief. "You know what happened the last time you two guys got drunk. Didn't Commander Chakotay say that you could not go to a bar on our next six stops?"

Tom continued to stare at the table, as Harry sat beside him quiet as a mouse. "Well, not exactly"

"He said that we couldn't go without an escort," Harry blurted out with guilt.

"Oh, no!" I exclaimed again. "You two are really crazy! I am not even old enough to drink, let alone to escort you two loony drunks home."

"Commander Chakotay does not think so" Tom trailed his voice off for just the right touch.

I looked up at his begging face. "Really?" I asked amusedly. "Just what did the Commander say?"

"If we could get you to agree with it, we could"

I stood up from the table, eager to finish the conversation. "Clearly then, you are out of luck. I have no intention of accepting your invitation."

"Unfortunately, we all ready volunteered you," Harry blurted out again.

I spun around. "You didn't"

"We did" Tom interrupted. "We said that you had agreed and everything."

"Guys, I have work to do"

"Done," Tom interrupted again. "All of your scans for the month, as well as your quasar star project. We already collected the data and ran the program twelve times."

"Surely, B'Elanna would go"

"Are _you_ nuts?" Harry challenged.

I sighed. They had cut off all of my escape routes. "Fine," I agreed at last, "meet me in Transporter Room 1 in an hour."

I left the Mess Hall for my quarters. At least I could take a bath and change. It would be nice to get off the ship for just a while. I arrived in my room, and the only light was the light of the forty candles on the Moheelean Prayer Altar, each one lit for him. The picture that I had taken of Tre'kent before he had left formed the center of the altar. Even with the fire reflecting off the glass, I could still picture him in my mind.

As I glanced around the room, I saw a pile of clothes on the bed. I went over and picked up the note that was pinned to them. "Thought you might want to blend in, so Harry and I did some research and replicated this for you- Tom." Despite myself, I could not help but laugh. Even in my darkest times, they were here to pull me through.

Emerging in Transporter Room One after a brief sonic shower, I was dressed like an idiot. Clad head to foot in alien attire that I began to hope was not some cruel joke; I could have passed for a clown. Tom and Harry were already there, and I laughed when I noticed how ridiculous their outfits looked too.

"Now you are sounding like yourself," Tom commented as we stepped onto the blue Transporter Pad. "Energize."

The Transporter Attendant raised up the confinement beam and we appeared in a pub, with people clad in even far worse attire than us. Who were these people anyway? A waitress, not even taken aback by our sudden appearance, led us to a table near the bar and waited to take our drink order. Tom and Harry ordered the specialty beers, but when it came down to me, all I asked for was a mineral water. The woman looked at me expectantly. "No alcohol, sweetie?" she asked in a drawl.

I shook my head, and raised up a tag that Tom had left with my clothes. It identified me as a minor in their society with the privilege, however of entering any complex. The pass, gotten through the government and authorized by Commander Chakotay, was to remind everyone not to offer me a drink. Not like I would take one, anyway. "I'm not old enough to drink," I answered frankly, holding up the pass. "I only came to chaperone my two shipmates."

She laughed. "Oh," she said with amusement, "I thought the two of them sneaked you in here to get a drink. Sure you don't want one?"

I shook my head. "Mineral Water will be fine."

When the waitress left, we sat at the table for a few minutes in deep silence, each afraid to speak. For a while, Harry told corny jokes, trying to lighten the mood. For me, it seemed to be too much, too soon. With Tre'kent and my recent vision, I was finding it hard to be around people for even twenty minutes. After a while I had had enough and just wanted to be alone. Eventually, my thoughts slipped out into space, reaching for one glimpse of Tre'kent's presence, but I could feel nothing. He was too far away and our telepathic link was not that strong.

"Christy!" Tom interrupted urgently. "Can't you hear me calling you?"

"I'm sorry, Tom. I was not paying attention."

He brushed off my excuse quickly. "Listen to that, will you?" he asked.

There were people talking in the background, but I could not hear what would be so important. "Hear what?" I questioned.

"That one man at the bar- he's speaking German."

I almost laughed. "Tom, we are halfway across the galaxy. There is no way that some alien would know how to speak German."

He grabbed my hand. "No," he commanded, "listen. After living on the same ship with you for three years, I think that I would be able to recognize it."

I listened intently to the man at the bar. He seemed to be telling some sort of a tale, "_Ich ging auf meine Spielräume, auch ermüdet, um zu argumentieren, wohin die Männer mich nahmen. Als ich aufwachte, war ich im Gefängnis. Die Männer, die angeboten hatten, mir zu helfen waren wirklich Gesetzdurchführungoffiziere und ich waren auch getrunken worden, um zu beachten! Ich versuchte, mich mit einem des Schutzes auf Deutsch zu unterhalten, aber er betrachtete mich so dumm, wie Sie mich jetzt betrachten, ohne einen Anhaltspunkt zu wie, was ich sagte _I went on my travels; too tired to argue where the men were taking me. When I woke up, I was in jail. The men who had offered to help me were actually law enforcement officers and I had been too drunk to notice! I tried to converse with one of the guards in German, but he looked at me as stupidly as you look at me now, without a clue to as what I was saying."

It was German! I looked at Tom dubiously. "You were right," I answered in no more than a whisper. "That man is speaking German."

Harry looked at Tom. That's impossible!" he cut off to point at the man, "It would mean that he's had some sort of recent contact with earth!"

Tom frowned. "Not necessarily recent contact."

I shook my head. "Now that is impossible! No one could have traveled to earth in less than a lifetime."

Now Harry mused over my words. "We have speculated on the possibility of other alien cultures possessing such technology."

Tom began to pick up on his drift. "Scientifically hypothesizing, this contact on Earth could have been made years ago, when the German language was still widespread. The knowledge could have been passed down. Can you understand what he is saying?"

I looked back over to the bar where the man was grinning from ear to ear. He was having a great time insulting the men at the bar. "_Hier holen Junge, Barmixer kaninchen mir ein Getränk! ich sage ein Bier, ich bedeutete Baumsaft! Armer Dummkopf, hasse ich, Nutzen aus Ihrer Sprachbarriere so zu ziehen, aber es ist gerade normales lustiges! Nehmen Sie es zurück, ist es ursprüngliche Unterhaltung und ich liebe es! _Here young, bartender rabbit fetch me a drink! Did I say a beer, I meant tree sap! Poor fool, I hate to take advantage of your language barrier like this, but it is original entertainment and I do love it!"

"Yeah," I answered unenthusiastically. The voice was so oddly familiar. He leaned from side to side and twirled on the stool, telling jokes and making fun of the men around him in German. I could see men shaking their heads as if they had heard it all before.

"That's enough of you, Charlie!" a man yelled from the corner of the bar. "We've been hearing too much of you lately and that funny tongue of yours. Why don't you shut up now for a moment?" His response caused some of the men around him to chuckle

I looked up at Tom, his face set in a grim frown. "I am going over to talk to him," he said determinedly.

Harry scrunched up his face. "Why?"

Tom shrugged. "Just a hunch, Harry," he answered. Too detached, I let Tom walk over and tap the guy on the shoulder. "Hello there. My name is Tom Paris, and I could not help but overhear"

The man did not even glance over his shoulder; instead, he waved his hand up in the air dismissively. "_Ja, ja, ja _Yes, yes, yes," came the reply.

Tom did a double take. "I think you misunderstand me. You see, I was over at the table with my friends, and"

"Nothing I have not heard before," the man interrupted.

"Nothing you haven't heard before what?" Tom shot back irritably.

The man resolved himself to a sigh. "My language is my own," he replied.

Tom put a knowing smile on his face and placed a heavy hand on the man's shoulder. Swinging, the guy around, Tom pointed to our own table. "Actually," he began. "I think not. I have a friend over there"

But the man was not looking at our table; instead, he drunkenly stared at Tom, his eyes dilated wide in disbelief. "_Gnade_ Mercy, I have not seen that uniform in a while."

Tom stared in disbelief. "Excuse me?" he asked, looking down at his motley alien attire.

The man rubbed his eyes and looked again. His piercing blue eyes sent a chill down my spine. "I must be seeing things For a moment I thought I saw the Federation. I apologize," he mumbled. "I have been mistaken. Now leave me in peace." The man took another gulp of the drink in front of him and smiled idiotically in his drunken stupor. Within five seconds the man hiccupped.

"The Federation?" Tom asked hastily.

"You look like Paris," the man rambled on.

Tom almost choked. "Are you drunk?" he accused automatically.

The man stumbled to his feet, his sudden good humor turned to malice. "You want to make something of it?"

Tom's facial look mirrored my own incredulity. "I am not here to fight; I only wanted"

"What?" the man accused. "You came here to bug me. First, I lose a charge and a friend a few years from now. After ten years of mindless wandering I come here for a drink, and instead of comfort, all my buddies get tired of my stories and my voice. My language is all I have left of her! Suddenly no one wants to listen to troubled Charlie! Then you, you who I don't even know, come here to bug me and further degrade my existence! Well, you're scum! One day you'll die, pal, but I won't! And when that day comes, I will be the one standing here laughing!"

Tom gave the man a wary look. "Whoa! Calm down, buddy! I was not trying"

"Sure you were," the man cut Tom off. With those words, he swung his arm and hit Tom squarely on the nose.

"Cut that out, Charlie! Take yourself and your new friend out of the bar!"

But "Charlie" didn't seem to listen and took another swing at Tom. I jumped to my feet, determined to bring Tom back to the table before he did something rash. Harry pulled me down as the guards from the joint came up to haul the two out an exit.

"Wait," Harry cautioned me.

"I am supposed to keep you two out of trouble!" I exclaimed.

"Wait!" he reiterated. "The situation will only become more explosive if you go after him."

I nodded slowly, seeing the logic of his argument. I raised my hand to my Comm badge. "I am calling for a transport."

Harry grabbed my hand like I had just evoked the devil. "No! Chakotay would flip his wig if he heard this happened! Do you want to end up chaperoning us on a regular basis?"

I scrunched up my face in dislike. "Of course not!" I exploded. "What am I, insane? You guys would just have to learn to love being sober"

Harry smiled. "Let's just wait."

I raised my eyebrows, annoyed that he actually believed that I was going to obey him. I outrank him. "If he doesn't come back in twenty minutes, I will call for that transport," I threatened.

Harry grinned wider. "He'll be back."

I shook my head, but true to his word, Tom came in fifteen minutes later, with a heavy black cape draped over his shoulders and head. He slipped into the seat behind me and grabbed his drink from our table. I almost screamed when I saw his hand in front of me, but quick as lightening, he clamped his own hand over my mouth and leaned in closer. From across the table, Harry still sat, trying to quietly decipher an alien newspaper.

"Don't do that!" Tom hissed in my ear. "You will get us all kicked out and a one way ticket to their penitentiary."

I relaxed when I realized it was Tom. "Where have you been?" I shot back.

"Never mind that," he answered. "The guy put up a fight, and I knocked him out cold."

"You didn't!" I admonished loudly.

Harry looked up from what he was reading, oblivious to the whole situation. Tom still had his hand loosely over my mouth, his arm still uncomfortably tight around my neck. "Tom?" Harry asked.

Tom ignored the question and pulled the cape tighter around his face. "In fifteen minutes, I need you to leave with Harry and meet me in the alley. We are going to have to beam the man to Voyager. Maybe after some detox, he'll be more appreciative and answer more questions." I was about to ask him what he was talking about, but Tom clamped his hand tighter. I did not need to say anything for him to know what I was thinking. "I'll explain later, but he knew a few personal things about Voyager and Earth and you." I held my breath and nodded, letting it go at that. I trusted that Tom knew best. "Understand?" Tom asked unnecessarily.

I nodded. "Alleyway. Five minutes. With Harry."

"Good girl," he whispered as he exited as inconspicuously as he had come. Harry looked at me skeptically as we sat in silence.

Finally I stood. "Come on; let's go."

**To be continued**


	5. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 5

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters**

**Author's Note: Hey, almost done! This will be wrapped up in two more parts- getting there anyways. As always, this section was a joy to write, and I hope you have as much fun reading this. Until later, Christy**

*** Added Disclaimer: The story of Peter Pan was written by James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937).**

**Time's Chosen: Part 5**

"So what's your prognosis, Doc?" Tom chuckled uncomfortably.

The Doctor shot Tom a snide look of annoyance. "I told you, Mr. Paris, that if you insisted to stay while I examine my patient, you must be silent! Besides, you have _larger_ problems to worry about." Tom looked over at me.

"Have you told the Captain about him?" Kes asked quietly from over where she was assisting the Doctor.

"We just came from Transporter Room 2. I haven't gone to see her yet."

"More like it hasn't convenienced you yet, Mister Paris. Excuse me, Captain, but I brought an alien on board without your permission and the Doctor is treating him in Sickbay. Why you ask? Well I am afraid I bloodied the guy's nose in a lapse of judgment and knocked him unconscious.'"

"I'll go tell her now," I offered, more than willing to put distance between the man on the biobed and myself. Every time I looked over at him, images of memories flew to mind. The mess in Astrometrics, away missions, my father's lab a terrifying sense of familiarity was radiated on the features.

Tom sprang almost to the exit. "You shouldn't take the rap for this I'll go."

I almost laughed. "After the words, Um, Captain' she wouldn't give you the time of day before she starts hounding you for answers. At least I have the chance to explain you before she puts you in the brig."

Tom beamed his charming smile. "Even after Astrometrics?"

I nodded. She had said that she still trusted me it might be still to my advantage. "I'm going, Tom Paris, now step aside." He allowed me to pass, and before I went through the doors, mouthed a silent thank you.

I walked on the Bridge after the stomach lurching ride on the Turbolift. Some things would never change. Commander Chakotay looked up from the center of the room, waiting for me to explain myself. I looked on his face and immediately thought about the deep, aged lines that he had worn in my vision of the future. I hoped that he would find a better end. "Requesting permission to speak to Captain Janeway."

Without a thought he looked down. "The Captain is busy, Lieutenant. She asked not to be disturbed. It will have to wait."

I swallowed slowly. "It is an emergency, sir," I pleaded as silent as a whisper.

Twenty seconds later, I stared Janeway in the face. With a heavy sigh, she set aside whatever she had been working on and stretched her spine. "What is it, Lieutenant? Commander Chakotay mentioned an emergency?" she asked with weariness.

"There is an alien in Sickbay," I began bluntly.

Janeway looked at me in disbelief and raised her hand to her Comm badge. "Janeway to all hands- Intruder"

"No!" I yelled loudly. The Captain cut off in mid-sentence. "It isn't what you are thinking" I trailed my voice off.

"I mean carry on," she said to finish her message. "Splendid job. Janeway out." For a moment, I could feel the glare of her eyes as she processed the situation. Her forced breathing was enough to scare me as if she had breathed fire. "Mind explaining yourself," she said at last in a calm and relaxed tone.

I breathed a sigh of relief; for now, her rage was over. "I chaperoned Tom and Harry to a local bar." Janeway shook her head and smiled. "Is there something wrong?" I asked.

In endless amusement Janeway shook her head. "Tom, Harry, bar- those three words are never a good combination. So what happened?"

"Tom met someone at the bar"

"A woman?" Janeway interrupted suddenly.

"No," I continued cautiously. "He heard a man talking at the bar" I stopped for a moment, wondering where to go from here.

"What does this have anything to do with the alien in Sickbay?" she asked.

"I'm getting there," I complained gently.

Janeway nodded. "No more interruptions."

"Good," I replied, finally deciding on an explanation. "The man was speaking German, and Tom went to question him. But the man was drunk, and the two got into a brawl. They were kicked out of the joint, and Tom knocked the man unconscious. Instead of having the local authorities find him, we brought him to Voyager, and he is in Sickbay," I finished quickly.

Janeway's eyes flashed with instant understanding. "Janeway to Transporter Room 1, beam Lieutenant Anderson and myself directly to Sickbay."

When I re-materialized in Sickbay, Tom's eyes shifted around for the nearest airlock to escape to. "Lieutenant Paris," Janeway directed sharply, "what is the meaning of all of this?"

Tom met her gaze. "I apologize, Captain, that I did not ask permission to bring this man aboard, but the situation was urgent. I had no intention of knocking him out, but there was no other choice. This man has extremely internal knowledge of Voyager and her crew."

The expression on the Captain's face changed suddenly to concern. "How is that possible?"

The Doctor came over from behind her with a non-Starfleet-standard-issue triicorder. "That isn't the least of our scientific worries," he answered. He handed Janeway the Starfleet medical triicorder in his other hand. "Tell me what you see."

Janeway opened it up and stared at the display. Within a few seconds she began to wave the thing up and down all around the man. Perplexed, she waved the instrument at Kes and herself, then scanning the man one more time. "He isn't here," she stated. "But parts of him are- energy signatures and a pulse, but everything reads that if I put my hand out there, I would find nothing."

"Exactly," the Doctor congratulated. "I've tried eight different triicorders, not to mention the scanners in this room. According to everything, he isn't here."

Tom pulled out his triicorder, and I too glanced curiously at the display. Janeway was right- this man's energy readings were off the scale. Just by the readings, one would expect to be glancing at a living embodiment of a warp core, or maybe two. He had a pulse, and maybe something that could be considered blood pressure, but there were no indications of tissue, of matter, or of anything.

"Can you wake him?" Janeway asked the Doctor.

"I'm not sure that conventional stimulants will work, but I'll give it a try. Kes, give me a low dose of plythexamine. That should be enough to at least stir him."

Janeway nodded and pulled out her phasor. Tom and I followed suit.

"Is he dangerous?" Kes asked curiously.

The Captain shrugged. "It is only as a precautionary measure."

The Doctor leaned over and released the hypo spray in the man's neck. As I saw him stirring, that hazy sense of familiarity almost overtook me. I was almost positive that I knew this man from somewhere. The man came too and sat up. He groaned at the brightness of the lights around him. Finally he noticed his company.

"_Ich muß halluzinieren _I must be hallucinating," came the sleepy reply.

Janeway flinched just a little at the German. "I am Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. You have been brought aboard my ship because of a bar brawl you seem to have had with my crew member."

"_Nicht wieder, bitte _Not again, please."

"Christy?" the Captain asked.

"He seems to be confused" I shrugged.

The man's hazy eyes snapped to sharp alertness at my name. "Christy?"

The Captain looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. "Do you know my crew member?"

The man stared back at her and then glanced around the room. "Sickbay" his voice trailed off. "_Lassen Sie bitte dieses ein Traum sein _Please let this be a dream."

Janeway put her phasor down, still quite aware that she didn't have an experienced security team behind her. "Sir, you are safe. I am Captain"

"Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager, Registry Number NCC-74656, fifteen decks, 139 crew complement, from the Alpha Quadrant, SF Headquarters in Washington D.C., Planet Earth," he interrupted.

"Who are you?" Janeway shot back, she didn't like to be threatened.

The man smiled. "Such an ambiguous question, Captain, but the question is- am I really here?"

The Captain furrowed her eyebrows. "I have no idea what you are talking about"

I stepped out from behind Tom. "You must be a member of the Briikortian," I stated.

The man's eyes widened as he saw me before him. He reached his hand out softly and touched my skin. "There is no way," he whispered.

I moved away, still watching him closely. "How do you know this ship and my language?"

The man made no gesture that even suggested he comprehended what I was saying. "How are you here? How can I be back so far in time? I thought you"

"Were dead?" I accused. "My friends and I did not die in your little trap, try to kill us as you may."

Confusion finally registered in his blue far-seeing eyes. "Trap? You mistake me for someone else. I am no Briikortian."

"Then who are you?" I asked angrily.

"I am a Guardian of Time, and I am unknown to your species, although you know me very well."

Kathryn Janeway had moved back to watch the scene from afar. I glanced over at her, trying to look just as calm, just as in control. "If I knew you, sir, then I would remember you."

He laughed. "You do not recognize the wearer of 1,000 faces? I have been with you throughout your life."

I gulped as his features suddenly changed into different people. A few I could pick out instantly- my history substitute from grade school, the bookstore owner from around the corner of my house, the shuttle driver who had driven me to Deep Space Nine and put me aboard Voyager. I could only gasp. "Who are you? How do you know me?" I whispered again.

"Did you not see?" he asked. "Did you not hear? I am your Guardian."

"angel?" Tom finished with a chuckle.

"I am the Guardian of her temporal existence."

Janeway scoffed. "You've been her before," she accused. "How?"

The blonde haired man nodded, but he couldn't have looked much older than nineteen. "Very perceptive, just like I remember."

"Answer the question, or you can spend your time here in the brig."

The man laughed. "I think not," came the words as he vanished in a bright flash of white, reappearing across the room.

"You're a Q?" The Captain's question was more, however, of an accusation.

"No," he answered with superiority, "I am a Guardian."

With this sudden act of disappearance, the memories of yesterday came back. White light, his voice, and those eyes- he was the intruder. "You were here yesterday. In Astrometrics, that intruder was you. I am sure of it."

He looked me in the eyes. "And I am here now ten years later, unbelievable," he muttered.

"Ten years later?" I questioned. "It was yesterday!"

"For you, but I am not affected by time. I have lived through your life already."

For the moment, his strange answer did not bother me. There were anxious questions that poured off of my tongue. "You've been so many people. Why?"

His blue eyes clouded. My question seemed to echo in his soul as if he was confronting something that he could barely discern, a turn of events that were out of his controls. It was the look of hurt that I instantly recognized. I had seen it in my own eyes after I had learned about my past. It was one that still haunted my features now and then when I looked in the mirror.

"You were the Chosen One. Why did you have to die?"

At the sight of the ominous tears in his eyes, I felt panic rising in my throat. "Chosen?"

"Time's Chosen, one of the special reactors in the universe"

The Captain was uncharacteristically silent, Tom and the Doctor as well. It would have been appreciated if any of them had volunteered to pitch in right now.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Don't you get it? This is why you are here"

"I don't understand," I started, trying to make sense of the paradox that was before me. Why was everyone so bloody silent?

"Give me your hand"

Warily, I put down the phasor. With one man down Janeway picked up hers and moved protectively to my side. It was a power statement and a threat, rather than for my comfort. Without knowing why, I trustingly gave him my hand. My spirit felt like it had known him forever. My senses were apt to believe him despite how much my mind protested.

He lifted my palm up to the light. "Look at it," he said softly.

I stared at it, my mind beginning to win the battle. This guy, handsome though he was, wasn't all there. He seemed like one whose elevator didn't quite reach the top floor.' "What am I looking for?" I asked politely.

"You cannot see." The words were a statement, not a question. He let go of my hand and stood off the biobed. Janeway aimed her phasor. "Trust me," he said quietly. My body stood still, my feet unable to leave the ground. He raised his hand to my face and gently touched my eyes.

I pulled away in pain. His touch was like one of hot coals. My corneas were burning and my eyes were on fire. Unable to keep it bottled inside, I let out a scream. Tom and the Doctor pulled him away and I heard Janeway calling for backup. My mind was racing- I couldn't stop the burning sensation! My sight went blank. I grabbed onto a nearby console for support. "Stop it! Make it stop!" I screamed.

The Doctor came over with a triicorder. "You must remain still!"

I shuddered the pain. "I can't- it hurts too much!" Janeway moved forward to clutch my shoulders and hold me still.

"There is some enzyme compound in her blood her blood pressure is off the scale! Kes, get me two cc of enethrozyne." The Doctor began to prepare a hypo spray.

"Don't!" the words came from across the room. A bright flash of light in front of me brought him to my side. "Leave her alone- it will only make the pain worse. He tore me from Janeway's grasp and held me by the arms. Gently he shook me. "Open your eyes!" he yelled.

I writhed still with the pain. "It hurts too much! Make it stop!"

"_Öffnen Sie Ihre Augen _open your eyes!" His hands shook me some more. I thought he would break my arms.

"Let her go!" Tom screamed, trying to tackle the man.

"Stop it!" I yelled, moving away. I opened my eyes to stare at him, and the pain began to subside.

"Christy?" Tom asked, now right by my side. "Are you all right?"

I sucked in a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. Tom draped a protective arm over my back. The man still remained in front of me, but now around him there was a white aura. "What did you do?" I growled breathlessly.

"Your heart was still receptive, so I opened your eyes. I have trained them to see what they could have seen all along," the man paused from his explanation. "Look at your hand."

He took one step towards me, but Janeway stepped in front of him, and Tom gently moved me two steps back. Cautiously, I raised my hand to the light; my eyes widened at what I saw glowing brightly inside the palm of my hand- a circular emblem circumscribed with foreign patterns and symbols.

"See," came the man's whisper, "you are marked."

I did not raise my head to look at him, but stared at the insignia more closely, trying to perceive any possible meaning.

"I don't see anything," Tom countered shortly.

"Not all will see, only those that have the ability can," the young Guardian answered.

I ignored all of them, in a daydream of my own. "There are words," I commented aloud, not really meant for anyone to hear.

The Guardian smiled. "Ah, yes. It is written in a language that is older than time itself, yet understood by all if they but only know how to listen. You know finally." With this he disappeared.

02:00 hours I walked into the deserted Mess Hall. So much seemed to be tumbling through me. Since Tre'kent had left, it had not been uncommon for me to be suffering from such relentless insomnia. Thoughts, feelings, and memories from the past flashed through me and kept me awake, and I made no attempt to stop it. They had been fought off for too long, and now I was weary. Just a month ago, the Doctor had cleared a few memory pathways, artificially blocked long ago because of underhanded events. He had promised that bits and pieces of these events would come at random intervals. The first time it had happened, the images and sounds had been too much to handle. I learned rapidly to block the flow, but with each attack the sensory overload grew greater.

I walked to the dark corner by the windows. My duty shift in Engineering began in four hours, but there was too much to sort out and understand in such little time. During such an event, Tre'kent would have been here, using his mind to comfort my own thoughts by sharing the load, but he was gone.

"Who's there?" a voice cried out.

From the corner, my newly dilated eyes could now discern a dark figure. "Harry?"

A sigh of relief rang through the air. "What are you doing up so late?" he asked.

I put on a wry face. "Couldn't sleep," I admitted sheepishly.

He nodded. "Me neither. I kept thinking about our new guest."

I looked up from the table, surprised. "Tom told you?"

"Yeah, and I don't like it," he answered reluctantly.

I was taken aback. "So now you are going to dictate who I talk and interact with?" I accused.

"No," he replied strongly. "I'm not saying that I am just worried."

Touched by his concern, I smiled nervously. "About what?"

Harry put his head in his hands, trying to shake something off. "About the future, I suppose," he met my gaze suddenly, "and about you, if we want to be technical."

"Why me?" I questioned hastily.

"You don't act like yourself much anymore."

His words brought down an uncomfortable silence, and a remembrance of my vision. **_This will be repeated if you do not learn_ **isn't that what the voice had said? **_You have pushed away everyone. Your heart has forgotten how to love. _**__I stared up at him, grateful for his honesty. "I can't find myself anymore," I, at last, confessed faintly. "Where do I even begin my search?"

But Harry didn't move; instead he continued to stare out the window. "See those stars?" Slightly startled, I nodded. "Notice how steady they are. Each one burns vibrantly and constantly, but eventually, one dies. Most of them are not alone rather they exist in clusters. As you should know, in clusters, the stars live longer and together cast more light in the space around them than even the brightest one could do alone. The law of nature is funny sometimes, isn't it? All things return to a state of equilibrium and better well-being- stars are naturally drawn together in clusters. And I say, that if you are ever lost, and cannot find your way, then following the old time-proven laws of the universe is the next best thing to do" my friend shrugged, dissipating the growing, but strange feeling I had had of an old, wise mentor. "So that's where you can begin to look with friends. We all are each other's strengths." Harry stood up. "When you are ready to talk about it, I'll be here and so will Tom Goodnight, Christy."

"Funny, isn't he?" a voice asked as the doors hissed shut behind Harry. I held my breath. "Yes, dear Chosen, I came back."

"What are you doing here??" I gasped in horror.

"To talk with you," he retorted presumptuously. I made no attempt to reply. How could I confide in someone so unfamiliar and yet claiming to be so omnipresent in my life? "Come on," he goaded, "there must be something within you that believes me."

I smiled despite of myself, feeling helplessly tormented. He wouldn't leave until he felt obligated to do so. And if he were my Guardian, then wouldn't he know everything about my life? A persistent question came to mind. "Why," I began slyly, "did you take me to Voyager?"

He did not appear to be ruffled in the least. "It was the only way to save you. Someone was waiting for you at Celsius Prime; surely you know that now."

I swallowed hard- he'd the right answer. I stared up at him dumbfounded. "What were you talking about in Sickbay? What is this mark on my hand?"

The man smiled. "Your race has barely begun to comprehend time. You live your lives and think it a straight line. You cannot imagine that there once were those who could control it and yield it."

I raised my eyebrows up in question. "The line or time?" I questioned mischievously.

For a moment, he ignored me, visibly irked. "If you want, I'll tell you the tale" His words trailed off until I nodded my consent. "They came before all else," he began, "supposedly the first in the universe. They were called the Ardumya, meaning the Old Ones.' Their planet is said to have been located upon the very center, the very point of the universe's creation."

"And where might that be?" I asked with amusement dancing in my eyes.

The Guardian smiled at the interruption. "The center?" He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. "Ah, it is a place that I have never fully seen with my eyes, but have visited and felt. There is no other place in the world where one can feel so at peace. It is a home to all of us Guardians. There is this feeling that takes over you, that possesses you so inexplicably" As his voice trailed off, I smiled. His explanation reminded me of the feeling of security and peace I had once felt on earth. The Guardian watched my expression guilelessly and continued, "Here the Ardumya came upon a paradox- that time controls but can be controlled. They expanded upon this paradox, learning how to control time and how to use it as the energy source it was. The old stories say the Ardumya could foresee the future. They knew that the universe ran on the concept of time, and they knew that this knowledge, if fallen into the wrong hands, would destroy the very fabric of control."

"If this tale is true," I interrupted, "and the Ardumya discovered this near the beginning of the universe, why haven't other races stumbled upon this paradox themselves?"

My Guardian looked up at me. "Patience, Christy- have patience and I will get there. And so, confronted with this peril, the Ardumya came up with a plan to forever shelter and protect their secret; they went from the beginning of time and chose special Guardians. These Guardians, rather than being created, were chosen of the universe itself. Most of what is known relates that the Guardians were taken at specific moments from their own lives, displaced from their proper timeline, and with wiping away all knowledge of their previous identity, the Ardumya gave them the power of time."

I furrowed my face in a look of deep thought. "You?" I asked hesitantly. "You were taken from your family?"

"Like I said, all memory is wiped. I don't remember where I came from, or who my parents were. While I learned to wear a thousand faces, this is the only one I have truly known. The earliest of my memories are being inside the Continuum of Time with this face."

"You don't remember a thing? Do you not ever miss it?" I interrupted with concern.

The Guardian shrugged. "What is there to remember? One cannot miss something that he does not know. I have known only one existence, and this is it. From my perspective, I have it made! I have an immortal life, and there is nothing which I lack nor want" Silence descended as his words trailed off.

"Your life," I continued to interrogate, "is immortal?"

The man nodded his head. "Time only has its power over life when the individual is woven in his place. Only then can time pick up the fabric and continue to weave. I am like a string that has been snipped, free to float through the air and over the cloth, not affected at all by the speedy spinning."

I digested his analogy for a moment, thousands of questions coming to mind. "But how is it that you move through time?"

"The Ardumya gave me the gift of Time, its magic and its energy. Like your Doctor noticed, I am not here. The real part of me has been given up to another realm. At any one moment in your life, I am not completely here. It is a shadow or a reflection that you see at best. This magic is in my blood. It affects my whole being," he answered patiently.

His strange answer had my curiosity piqued. "That is what you put into my blood, to make me see?"

The blue eyes staring at me clouded. "I have forgotten how clever you are. Yes it is the selfsame magic. I put a small amount of my own in your blood. I hope that your new sight will give you the understanding you need to change what is coming."

"How many Guardians are there?" I asked quickly, afraid that at any moment he might resume his tale, and eager, too, to change the subject.

He only chuckled at my grilling, and then grew serious as he weighed his answer. "In my long existence, I have only seen thirty-six. Perhaps there are fifty, even maybe a hundred. It wouldn't matter if there were only one. An immortal life is enough time for an eternal job." I stared at him in puzzlement. At length, he resumed his explanation. "We were put in charge of keeping the time continuum safe. As safe, time shall continue on forever, and so will our jobs, for the Ardumya also chose other beings to carry the mark of time. Through these people, the ever-continuing salvation of the universe would be worked. Instead of displacing the marked, the Chosen, from their lives, their places were left untouched, and the Ardumya gave them Time's power of change, love, and understanding. These gifts were extracted from all others, called Constants, in hopes of shielding the great mystery of time. The Constants are named such because their lives will never change. They respond to situations in well-predicted ways, and the only source of change in their lives is from the stimulus of the Chosen and the Guardians. So you can see, in a universe now bereft of these three gifts, the Chosen were particularly dangerous people- their existences and choices erratic and forever varying, and so each Guardian was given his own symbol to recognize in the mark of time. Every Chosen, therefore, bears the Mark of Time in the palm of their right hand, identical to that of their Guardian. The Guardian moves through time at his own will, following the next call of his Chosen. He or she guides them through their life like an invisible hand of power and good judgment, and at the end of their life extracts the gifts of Time. With these gifts, the life of the Chosen could be an ever-changing thread, and without guidance could be the very destruction of the salvation supposedly to be wrought through them."

My eyes clouded in fear. "I heard you say something before in Sickbay. You asked me why I died. If you had already lived through my life and extracted the gifts, what are you doing here now? Why is this thread changing?"

The Guardian stared at me with deep worry. "I am unsure"

"I told you that I had seen you in Astrometrics," I interrupted. "I heard a voice that day it I I mean, something told me that in death, the circle would be incomplete and I would have a chance to start over. Is this what that meant?"

"For that- I- I mean, there is no answer. You still possess all of the gifts, and I have no idea why. For reasons beyond myself, it seems that Time has granted you a second chance."

"Second chance?" I croaked.

He stood up and ranted. "Look at the odds, Christy! Bright heavens, look at the odds! I went to a bar today in a drunken stupor, emotional pain physically blocking me from continuing my job, my existence, any further. And it just happened to be in your life frame, at the exact same time you were there, and your friend just happened to be drawn to me! And you are alive you are alive and I can scarcely believe it" his voice rasped to a close, as tears constricted his throat. "Look at you," he continued. "You stand before me breathing and your heart still beats. Ah, your heart! I was able to open your eyes because your heart was still open! Barely, but still open! I had never dared to dream of seeing you again, like this, with still a chance left at life! You were the first charge I lost. I tried all that I could do, but it seemed as if life had turned its back on you, and you had turned your back on it. If only you knew"

"The future?" I whispered weakly. Understanding rang through my eyes. "Like I said, four days ago, I saw your presence in Astrometrics. I could be wrong, but I swear you gave me a vision of the future. It showed me much unhappier and troublesome times, and that voice—it told me to change."

"The Touch of the Guardian," he said softly. "You saw it? Aye, it was the future as it would be of this day."

"Can it be"

"changed?" he finished. "_Ja_, that it can. But it will be hard. You have already begun to shut down your heart, and when it has closed, there will be no turning back. The events you foresaw will come hailing down upon you faster than tomorrow."

In dejection, I wrinkled my nose. "It surely cannot be that bad."

"Oh but it can, and worse. I saw you take your life with my own two eyes"

"Excuse me?" I snapped sharply.

"I tried to stop you, but it was too late I had hoped that I could warm your heart again, but it was all in vain You took the phasor- it was set to kill You were the first I lost" 

I felt like I was drowning. The air had been sucked from my lungs as if someone had punched me in the gut. I grasped the edges of the table, trying to catch my breath, feeling more dizzy and winded as the microseconds flew by. The phasor in my vision surely not. I could not ever be that desperate- there was always tomorrow to live for, wasn't that my philosophy? "How What Is there anything I can do to open to open my heart?"

"Your heart will open the more you use it, and the sooner you overcome your fear of being hurt. People are not all that bad, remember? There was a time when your young naïve heart would offer its trust to any stranger, and now you doubt even your friends' intentions."

For a few distracting moments, I gulped back tears of despair and hurt. How would I manage to ever regain my young heart or offer its trust to every stranger after so much betrayal? "I've forgotten," my voice started, "what it feels like to trust."

The Guardian came closer and took my hand. "Surely not. You are Chosen, Christy. The power of the gifts given to you is rooted within your own heart. You can see that when you have closed it, you have closed off your gifts from yourself, in a sense, and become a constant, pulled in a straight path to destruction with the inertia of your bitterness. What good is life if you have not the courage to gamble and take a chance? The odds never change," he stopped and took a breath. "I shouldn't do this. Normally, Guardians never have even this must personal contact with their charge, but this is a situation so rare that it warrants such a deviation. Are you willing to try something?"

I nodded without the slightest idea of what he had in mind. If I had to relearn to trust, it might as well be now.

"Close your eyes," he continued, "Find the center of your heart. Concentrate on someone whom you love so dearly, and follow wherever their picture leads you. See the flow of light before you- seize it within your grasp and imagine it in your hand" his voice withered into nothing, and I could barely even hear the sound of his breathing. I saw Tre'kent and followed him to a place of surprising calm and warmth. He had been right; there was light here, light so bright like the light of his aura. "Open your eyes." The words came so softly that I almost did not realize that they were spoken. When I looked at my hands, they were glowing, and in them was a ball of bright white light. "This is the magic. With practice, much practice, it can be wielded as anything, from a weapon to the light source you see before you."

"I feel so strangely exhilarated," I managed to explain softly.

The Guardian smiled. "Close your eyes again. Find your heart, but instead of moving, I want you to listen. Hear the sound of my voice, hear the sound of your breathing, and hear the sound of the ship. Listen carefully. Try not to think about what you are hearing, but sit still and just listen" Silence dragged on, and after moments I could hear laughter and joy. Conversations so blurred yet recognizable- voices, none distinct but all familiar. The sounds slowly filtered, and individuals became clear. "Who do you hear?" he whispered.

Instantly I smiled suddenly, filled with impish mirth. "Tom!" I exclaimed. "I hear Tom- why he's telling jokes on the bridge!" Caught by surprise, I tried to still my laughter; it was Tom's recent bad joke: a piece of rope walks into a bar each day for a week, and each time rejected. On the last day he comes in a disguise. The bartender walks over and asks him if he is that same piece of rope. The rope looks him in the eye and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot." But Tom's voice faded away and was replaced by a more serious and patient voice. "And I hear Harry! He's explaining something to the Junior Officer beside him."

Peter looked pleased. "Listen to the decks below this one. Can you hear anyone in particular?" asked Peter roguishly.

I sat very still and listened. Soon I could hear a voice barking orders, clears as day. She was yelling at Lieutenant Chapman check on the blocked Warp Plasma Injectors. "B'Elanna! She is giving orders in Engineering!" Suddenly the voices faded as soon as they had come, and I was left in exhaustion.

"You heard your friends," he mused. "It is no surprise, for they are those who share with you the strongest emotional ties. But as I said, it will take practice."

I looked up at him now as he finished those words, and perhaps it was a side affect of tapping into my long shut off heart, but I detected a great deal of bitterness behind his words. "Who do you hear when you listen?" I implored ingenuously.

He stared at me as if I had grown three horns. "The life of a Guardian is spent alone and in his duty. I suppose that maybe why the Ardumya picked us; we do not long for companionship."

"I find it a sad existence," I commented, "you live forever, yet everything around you ages and dies. You seemed quite pleased with your endless existence- you find neither disease, age, nor death within it. Yet perhaps a mortal existence is better. You realize the preciousness of everything around you. Even when you lose those you love, death brings a certain closure. We each have a certain task about us, but when it grows loathsome, we can take comfort in the knowledge that one day it will end. Far worse is yours, for when you do find someone you care about, even if you spend every waking moment by their side, they will die. Everything within your life will die. It is a fact of life and existence. All things come to an end. One could never find solace and release in such a subsistence." His bottomless blue eyes continued to stare at me. "What do they call you, Guardian?" I asked softly.

"I have gone by many names yet have none of my own," he answered simply. "Perhaps you should give me one?"

I kept silence for only a moment. "I shall call you Peter," I replied with resolution. "For he lived in Never Never Land and never wanted to grow up; so he remained a child."

"Peter?" he asked.

"Yes," I responded, "after Peter Pan. It was a tale that I fell in love with as a child."

He smiled. "Then Peter I shall be," came the jovial confirmation as he vanished from sight.

**To be continued**


	6. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 6

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters**

**Author's Note: Hey it has been fun, but we're drawing near to the end. There's only one more part left, and then I have to start all over again, just like life. Thanks again for the positive feedback, everything is appreciated- Christy**

*** Added Disclaimer: The story of Peter Pan was written by James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937).**

**Time's Chosen: Part 6**

Engineering was brightly lighted for 06:00 hours, almost too bright. Already crewmembers were hustling about with a variety of morning duty shift jobs. A few seconds after I walked in, B'Elanna came up from behind me. "Christy!" she called, whizzing by.

I turned around to face her, fear in my eyes. My talk with Peter had not left me any time to study. "Quiz?" I asked expectantly. "Test?" I questioned when she shook her head.

"Follow me," she called over her shoulder as she grabbed the lift to the upper deck of Engineering. I arrived at the top and set the lesson PADD aside. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to cram for that test until tomorrow. B'Elanna was keeping a furious pace, and behind her dutifully followed Lieutenant Chapman and Lieutenant Carey. "Chapman, I need the Warp Plasma injectors purged by 09:00 hours. It should have been done by now, and it shouldn't take but one person. No more excuses. Carey, I need full diagnostics underway immediately, the whole lot. Do as many as you can simultaneously. I trust you to get them done; take entire Engineering Crew Beta if you need them. We need to keep this ship moving at top speed, but at the same time I need to know what has to be fixed and oiled before we find ourselves face to face with the Borg. Got it?" Lieutenant Carey sped off. "Chapman!" she shouted when she realized that he was still following her, "what are you standing around for? Get moving on purging those injectors!" Chapman took to the nearest console. "Lieutenant Anderson," B'Elanna called, "over here."

I moved to the console she had indicated. On top stood a toolbox full of intricate diagnostic tools. "I want you to watch me carefully. For the next six hours, I need you to repeat the same command procedures consecutively. I'll cancel any more shifts that you have for today." Respectfully I nodded, it seemed as if she never took a breath, and B'Elanna began to tap away on the console buttons, initiating a power surge in the reaction core over loaders. "I detected a problem this morning in the over loading units, and I am going down there to see what's wrong. I have a feeling that I might have to replace the one unit, so the power surges you are supplying should be enough to force the second over loader to do twice the workload. Optimally, Voyager should really be brought to a halt, but Tuvok detected that blasted Borg Transwarp signature yesterday. If truth be told, I would rather we were not a sitting duck when the Borg come to assimilate us. Now, it is extremely important that you keep applying these surges at a rhythmic pace. I don't need to remind you what would happen if the Warp Plasma Conduits were suddenly backed up."

She moved aside expertly and I followed her lead by repeating the procedure twice flawlessly as she watched. The Chief Engineer nodded in approval. "Good, you'll start in a few minutes. I'll be back in a few hours to relieve you." She closed the toolbox on top of the console and set it on the floor. Kneeling down, she opened up a storage container and looked up at me with an evil twinkle in her eye. "Harry tells me you got a visit this morning from our guest," she began frankly, gracefully slipping from professional to personal.

"Peter? Yes, he talked with me for a while."

B'Elanna eyed me suspiciously as she continued to dig through the contents of the container. "More like hours," she joshed. "Neelix didn't open his kitchen until five minutes before 06:00 hours for fear of disturbing you and him. I should know; I waited in line outside long enough. Peter, is that his name?"

"Yes," I answered while moving to help her hold up the lid.

B'Elanna cocked her head to the side. "Is he on the level?" she asked, trying to politely keep her voice down.

Gratefully I stared into the eyes of my friend. She was genuinely concerned. "I hope so." At my words, B'Elanna smiled with relief. "You know he reminds me of my brothers," I continued.

B'Elanna stared at me. "I wasn't aware you had any siblings."

I shrugged. "I suppose I don't mention them as much. They moved out of the house when I was six to live with my aunt. When I was twelve, my older brother Karl was already out of the Academy and William had one more year to go."

B'Elanna nodded. "Although I was an only child, I had cousins their age, about. I never saw them much- didn't like them too much, come to think about it. Still, it was hard being the only one in the house. What's your favorite memory of them?"

At her words I raised an eyebrow. "Favorite memory?"

B'Elanna smiled wistfully. "Come one, you have to have at least one."

I nodded. "Okay this might sound a tad strange, but my favorite memory of my brothers is my twelfth birthday. I got a soccer ball, and for the first time in years, my brothers stayed all afternoon and taught me to play."

B'Elanna laughed. "Soccer? Is that anything like Klingon Gormball?"

Shyly I nodded. "Only it's not a human skull- _it's_ a _hollow leather _ball. Soccer is my favorite sport today, and I think its all because of my brothers. They were never at home; the times my brothers came to visit were few and far between. Now that I think about it, my brothers probably knew about me and were too disturbed by the situation to stay at home. I guess they tried to help me though. I mean, often when they did visit, they stole me away in the early hours of the morning when I had a doctor's appointment."

My companion's face grew somber. "Didn't you mention once that Kenneth and his sister lived with you?"

"Yeah," I replied, "they did. It was sort of an apprenticeship deal. Their father couldn't support them, and Kenneth was willing to work. My family took them in and they soon became a part of ours."

B'Elanna sighed. "It was just my mother and I; we had such different opinions that our home was frequently explosive after my father left. Finally at seventeen, I couldn't take anymore and packed after one of our fights. I fended for myself until I graduated from high school and entered the Academy. I thought I had it all figured out, but I suppose you've heard about how it really turned out. When I quit the Academy out of sheer frustration, I couldn't find it in my heart to go back home, and so I took a job aboard a Bajoran freighter."

It had never occurred to me how hard B'Elanna had really had it. "Bajoran freighter?" I asked suddenly. "Weren't they the sworn enemies of the Klingon Empire at one time?"

A warning alarm went off five feet from us. Like a startled animal, B'Elanna targeted the sound in seconds. She relaxed when she saw Lieutenant Chapman on it, and when she let her breath out, her shoulders sagged. I had never seen her so tired, so tired that I could almost feel it. Realizing she had become distracted, B'Elanna looked up at me, muddled. "Um at the time, the Bajorans were more concerned with winning their war against the Federation. It was a sort of a makeshift job. They were searching for a top assistant engineer to do the night shift, and I found out about it accidentally when I was working as a shuttle mechanic in the Central Plaza on Mars. Some gossiping customer came in talking about it like the newest scandal. I remember how thrilled I was," B'Elanna shook her head and laughed at herself. "I was only making enough to eat two meals a day, and I jumped at the chance, Bajorans or not. I resurrected my Starfleet uniform, stoles some convincing pips, trying to pull an act as a turncoat officer."

"They believed you?" Chapman asked incredulously. Simultaneously, both of us turned to stare at him. Until that moment, neither of us had realized that he was listening.

Surprised, B'Elanna nodded. "They were more than happy to oblige to my terms. Largely, I really hadn't an inkling of what to do besides the basics- it was all one large lie. I knew a few tricks, and I used them to my advantage. They were so impressed by ability to recycle old warp plasma that they hired me immediately. For a while it was touch and go. At first, I couldn't tell the difference between a Warp Core Failure and a Warp Core Meltdown. Most of my engineering education hadn't come from the Academy but from my friends Max and Jason. They knew all the illegal tricks of the trade." B'Elanna bit her lip to stop the smile that was creeping over her face. No doubt that pair of friends had been as much trouble as Harry and Tom were today.

"I'm sure that you improvised," I said to gently snap her out of her reverie.

The half-Klingon engineer gave a slight affirmation. "Working for the Bajoran Underground Empire, I learned as I went along, escaping trouble by a centimeter as often as I could. A nice Bolian engineer finally caught on and showed me a few things. When the ship crashed into a trading port five years later, I thought it was over. Most people on duty that night in the Engine Room died; I barely managed to escape with my life. While wandering for a few months, Chakotay found me through some of his contacts. He said that he had been told I was a thrifty and unconventional engineer, but one of the best, and he offered me a job with the Maquis. Those years were probably the best in my life. Even on the Bajoran freighter I hadn't fit in, and Starfleet was just as confining, yet somehow I ended up here."

"Best of us all," I finished for her.

B'Elanna laughed. "I still don't know how I did it. There were many times I was ready to pack my bags and go home defeated. Honestly, I suppose that I owe it all to the curiosity my Father fostered while he still lived with us. It was my blessing and my salvation."

"You did it," I said reassuringly. "Your father and your mother would be proud to see how far you've come."

A smile came to her face. "Somehow Tom thinks that too." She finally located the instrument she was looking for, grabbed it as fast as grease lightning, and nimbly shut the lid. "Begin those power surges, Lieutenant. You're in charge until I return."

Somewhat disheveled and mentally tired, I arrived in my quarters at 13:00 hours. I must have repeated that sequence over a million times. I felt that if I closed my eyes, I would begin to dream about it, or that if I stopped paying attention, I would find my hands still performing the maneuvers over imaginary panels. With a salad in my stomach, I collapsed on the bed, quite happy to have no more shifts.

"Tired? Oh, too bad I was really hoping I could take you on an excursion."

Instinctually, I sprung off the bed with a phasor in my hand. _Himmel_ Heavens, it was only Peter. Catching my breath, I swallowed to recoat my dry throat. "What are you doing?"

Peter pulled out a bundle of a dozen roses from behind his back. "Like Peter swept young Wendy off to Never Never Land, I have too brought my pixie dust for such a trip. For you, my Wendy," he offered suavely with a small melodramatic bow.

His antics caused me to giggle hysterically. "What wwhat are you talking about?" I managed between gasps of air.

"I want to show you something."

The answer had come straight out, simple, but its simplicity simply swept me away. I caught something so profound in his blue eyes as his gaze held me captive for nearly a minute. In fear, I took a clumsy step backwards. Snapping me from my daze, the door chimes buzzed. "Come on, Christy, open up," Tom's voice commanded.

Peter took no time to hesitate and grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing?" I shrieked in astonishment. From outside the door, I could hear the sound of Tom punching in the entrance code.

"Think happy thoughts," Peter explained as we swirled away in a flash of white.

With the white radiance fading, the first thing I noticed was the two stars high up in the sky, most likely a binary system. When my eyes had adjusted, I glanced at my surroundings. To my surprise, we were at the edge of a deep canyon. A river of the deepest blue, a blue matching the shade of Peter's eyes cut through rapidly, little white caps of waves hither and thither. Surrounding both banks was a copious and lush amount of green growth. The sky was cloudless and pale pink, a sign of an oncoming suns'set. A great bird circled overhead, reminding me of a bald eagle, just as magnificent and just as noble. "Spirit, where is this place?" I quoted tranquilly.

Peter looked at me cautiously out of the corner of his eye. "Dickens?" he asked curiously. "Charles Dickens?"

I nodded almost imperceptibly, still awed. "A great writer"

My fragment traveled through the air, and echoed back off the canyon wall. Peter seemed visibly pleased with himself, knowing how much I was enjoying this sight. "Second star to the right and straight on til morning," he responded suddenly.

I raised my right eyebrow in an amused expression. "Peter Pan's Never Never Land exists only in a child's imagination- but is this yours?"

"Aye, this is my Never Never Land. It is particularly beautiful in the morning at suns'rise there are morning passion winds You've never had such a feeling. There is no place like where you stand- the center of the universe, on a planet called Enkarri," he responded suddenly.

His reply took a while to register. "Center?" I asked, the reality hitting me like a brick.

His eyes lit up as he tumbled with unrestrained laughter at my naivety. The dimples in his cheeks gleamed as he chuckled deeply. I began to laugh at the mirthful sight of him, in spite of myself. Inexplicably my laughter set us both off, and we both laughed, crying, until our sides split, not one clue as to what was so apparently funny. At ease, I didn't even protest when Peter pulled me off to sit in the shade of a tree.

When my heartbeat returned to normal, I repeated my inquiry. "Center? I thought you never really saw this place."

Peter gazed at me strangely. "How can one really see what lies before his eyes if he has no one to share what his eyes see?"

I thought about his reply for only a moment. "How do you know about Peter Pan?"

Peter's eyes positively gleamed with sinister pride. "I spent the past four days researching the tale," he answered as if it were painfully obvious. His bizarre concept of time was scarcely surprising me anymore. I lay back on the grass and closed my eyes. For a time, I was content enough to draw in the fresh air in deep, slow, and relaxing breaths. I half feared that I might awake from these strange events as from a vision. The corner of my lips turned up in a small smile. I was waiting for him to say something, for it was he who had sought me in the first place. "It was appropriate," he mumbled softly. I simply nodded- it seemed to be a stalemate between the two of us, but I remember that my Father had always said that silent patience would pay off. "It got me thinking about what you said yesterday," his voice continued. "Eternity is terribly dull by one's lonesome."

I lifted my hand up to cover my smile. "Is it now? I thought an immortal life was the only way to go."

Peter glared at me, and then strangely snatched up my hand to hold it. "To tell you the truth, Christy, when I first got involved in your life, I used to wait beside your bedside, invisible, listening to the conversations you had with your father, just like Peter Pan. You said something once to your Father that I shall never forget: We don't live very long, do we? But Father, in our short time, how is it that we are able to change infinity?'" Peter's voice broke off.

I remembered that conversation- my friend Jared had died from MS. His parents had asked me to come to the funeral. During the service, when his Mother was giving the eulogy, I had leaned over in my Father's ear and asked, "_Warum bevölkeren Sie Würfel?_ Why do people die?" My Father had given me a hug "_Ich weiß nicht, Tochter, aber ich nehme an, daß es etwas Grund hinter ihm gibt_ I do not know, Daughter, but I suppose there is some reason behind it."

His words had caused me to wonder all day, and in the end it wasn't death that had seemed so important at all- it was how we lived our life.

Peter sighed "I don't know what it was, but at that moment, I was drawn to you. I kept watch over you as good as Nana, and try as I might, I couldn't stop the dominoes from tumbling." Tears were pouring down his cheeks now. He squeezed my hand tightly, hanging on for dear life, and alas so tight I thought that once I got back to Voyager I might have to pay the Doctor a visit.

"I'm here," I comforted softly. "And thanks to you, I'll have a chance to change all that."

But Peter didn't seem to be seeing me. Alarmed, I used my free hand to pry loose his death-grip. "You were the first charge I lost"

"And I'm here," I reiterated cautiously. "Peter, its all right."

Peter's face grew angry. "Is it? Or did you only hit the tip of the iceberg this morning?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea what you are talking about! Why don't you start from the beginning, calmly"

Peter jammed his fist into the ground. "You were right! I spent every moment I had right by your side, invisible, and in the end it still wasn't enough time."

I could only stare at my Guardian. "Peter" I murmured sympathetically.

"Isn't that name appropriate? Is this to be my curse?" The words that were on the tip of my tongue were lost to his grief. "When Peter came back, it was too late- Wendy had already grown up. I never before challenged this existence- it seemed to be the only way to go. But now I see it for what it is- a curse. I am damned to lose all whom I care about in life There has to be someway, someway to stop it"

I grabbed his hands forcefully, not wishing the madness to go on any longer. "Stop it!" I yelled. "There is no way. Even if you spent every moment in my life by my side, and in the end you used your powers to go back in time and start over- you might have my company, but you would not be prolonging anything. My life is a finite unit of time. Peter, in the end, you would have me so confused, that you would only torment my existence. Would that be the kind of relationship you would like to have? There is"

"Come away with me, Wendy."

The words, again, were only a simple plea. If it had not been for the adrenaline pumping through my system, I wouldn't have dared to reply at all. "No!"

"Oh, Christy we could be two spirits you and I. Have you not noticed the difference in you existence? I have displaced you from time, to be here. Here is where Time has no power- I have cut you loose from the furious tapestry. You could live an eternity like this."

For a split second, I recognized the absence of time ticking away. He was right, he had loosed me temporarily from the ever-forward march; it felt like a deadened sort of unearthly sensation. I shook my head in shock. "I have to return, Peter. There is no choice. There are people there that depend on me."

Peter cried out in anguish. "I haven't felt like this since the beginning of my consciousness. You have given me the wisdom to truly live. We could be entirely happy and free from burden."

"There is no choice, Peter. Please don't make me say that again. What was all that stuff you said about second chances? I was given a second chance, Peter, and I have to believe that was for a reason. If not for anything else, I must return for that reason."

The desperateness in Peter's eyes flickered and died. "I apologize," he said hastily and contritely. "I lost my head."

I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "People live but a very short time, Peter. Our lives are but a shadow from death. Like my Father once told me, the universe has its purpose, I suppose. If time could be bottled or slowed, we would have such things now. And while you live forever, Peter, one day, as dictated by the law of nature, I will die. It is a fact that you witnessed firsthand."

Peter hung his head. "Then you agree; my subsistence is cursed. Why have an immortal life if all you will have to endure is unending pain and loss?"

I shrugged. "Why is there death? Who could answer such a question? I asked my Father once, and he didn't know. However, it exists, Peter, and for people like me, it is the only end. But I think that there must be some good in death to outweigh the bad."

Peter looked up and met my gaze, there was raw pain in those eyes that stabbed intensely into my soul.

"Father always said it was quality over quantity," I explained patiently. "In life, it matters not how long you spend with a person. You could know someone for an eternity, and another someone for only five minutes, and the experience would still be as profound. No, Peter, what matter's is what you took, what you remember about the times when they were alive. What matters is that you made the most out of every moment you were given with that individual, for even after their death, their spirit remains alive in yours. If you have made the most with your life, and have taken the most out of knowing others, than that is all you can ask for."

There was almost an hour of silence after I finished. The suns long went down from the sky, and a haze of stars shined above us. While we sat in such stillness, Harry's advice about the clusters came to mind. We were all one family. Hadn't Tom told me that once before? I berated myself over having conveniently forgotten it until now. Why hadn't I talked to someone when the pain had become unbearable to endure alone? Surely others had lost plenty a person like Tre'kent, a person who completed your soul in every way. I thought about the long weeks of his absence Maybe after enough practice, I would reach him one day. Maybe, just maybe, I would be able to hear him, for our telepathic bond was useless over such large and indeterminable distances. For a while, I felt chagrined; the depression was returning like a plague. It was so easy to fall into self-pity. Eventually I sat up, not out of physical discomfort, but rather in a larger effort to clear my mind. There would be lonely and hard times ahead for sure, especially as I began to open up my heart, but these trials and tribulations could be dealt with as they came, and with friends.

Still, something wasn't complete.

"Know what I miss most?" Peter asked quietly.

I shook my head, not a clue as to what he spoke of.

"I miss the timely quality, the uncertainty about the next minute I remember the feeling of living, and I miss that. What do you miss about earth, something that you have not ever seen the equal of here in the Delta Quadrant?"

An answer that I did not even know that I had flew to my tongue. "I miss the rain. I miss being completely drenched from head to two in H2O, fully clothed, twirling around and splashing in puddles, catching raindrops on my tongue, and feeling it just replenish my spirit."

Peter laughed a little. "Ah, and to think young Wendy missed the mermaids and the adventures." His voice trailed off, and he stared at me intently. Unwearyingly he waited, until I had the courage to meet his gaze. "I tell you, Christy, it is no small miracle you spoke to me, that you had me understand tonight. You have have no no have no idea how large is the magnitude of your deed. I want to repay you with a wish"

"A wish?" I interrupted. "Peter, Wendy had no such wish."

Peter put his one finger over my mouth to silence me. "You can choose anything that you like, and it shall be done. But do me a favor, and consider carefully Unfortunately, it must be something that affects you alone, or mostly just you. I would never be allowed to work anything as wide scale as transporting Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant Just think, dear Wendy, just think And when you have made a decision, call for me from your heart. But don't wait, Wendy, don't wait until you're all grown up."

Within a flash, he was gone, and I stood back in my quarters, with a dozen red roses in hand, just as Tom burst through the door. "Didn't I hear voices?" he asked with concern.

"Peter just left," I answered, staring at twelve roses that I was sure would never die. Gingerly I placed them on the nightstand, their sweet smell filling the room. I was grateful that Peter had reintegrated me at the moment he had displaced me- this way there was no need for explanations. Mercy, did it feel great to be living again.

Tom raised an eyebrow but didn't breathe a word. I turned back and stared at him, dressed in a Starfleet physical training uniform, Grays, they were called. He had two wooden staffs in his hand. "Want to join us?" he questioned excitedly. "Harry, B'Elanna, and I- we're all going to start lessons" I hesitated for a moment, used to withdrawing from all the activity. Tom saw the flash of uncertainty and backed away. "Unless," he continued, "you would rather be left alone"

The genuine look of uncertainty on usually suave features was enough to send me again into giddy laughter. "Not a chance, butterfingers," I quipped as I snatched a staff out of his hands and ran down the hall.

**To be continued**


	7. Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 7

**Author: Christy Anderson**

**You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson and a few selected insignificant characters.**

*** Added Disclaimer: The story of Peter Pan was written by James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937).**

**Author's Note: Okay, take it back, this was my favorite part to write! I have never written much about Christy's family, except for her father and Kenneth, but... they exist. I think this mirrors the fact that each Voyager crew member discovered when going home- it won't be quite as they remember it.**

**I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief as I finish typing this up This is the end, for now. There is only one more part to the 'Night' series, and then I'll move on to write something else. I'll try to put on enough speed to finish this up before the end of May, hopefully. I really hope everyone has enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Always remember, that life is precious and it is too short to waste- God Bless. _Bis folgende Zeit _Until next time, Christy**

**Time's Chosen (Gewählt bis Zeit): Part 7**

The cool air from the life support systems circulated down to blow against my face. I fingered the end of the polished staff in my hands; Tom had replicated a beauty. Learning to use one wasn't as hard as I thought, either. B'Elanna had no doubt been the best out of all of us, and I rubbed my shoulder on the spot where she had come down upon me. Thank goodness the holodeck safeties were on- I wouldn't have any more than a light bruise instead of a broken collarbone.

"I thought you were leaving," Tom said as he reentered the Holodeck. He, Harry, and B'Elanna had left a few minutes ago for dinner and other engagements.

"Must have zoned out," I admitted softly.

Tom pulled up a stool from the corner of the Medieval Salle. "Lot on your mind?" he asked casually.

"Too much to chew," I again admitted.

Tom waited to see if I was going to say anymore. "Want to talk about it?"

I looked up at him in earnest. "If you could make one wish, what would wish for?" I asked quietly, truly wanting his advice.

Tom shrugged and put friendly his arm over my shoulder. "That's a tough one" he mumbled, "but as old as dirt. I suppose it would depend on the situation." I raised my eyebrows thoughtfully, trying to follow where he was going. Tom made a wry expression as he thought. "Is the future certain?" he inquired.

"Huh?"

The look of puzzlement on my face caused him to beam one of his Paris Charm' smiles. "I mean, at the time that I am making this wish, is my future certain Am I in any peril of death? Do I have a deadly disease? Do I still have what is important to me in my life? Am I starving and destitute? Am I making a living? Have I lost the will to live?"

I thought for a moment. "The future is somewhat certain, but you've lost the one you love."

Tom nodded thoughtfully. "Am I heartbroken?"

"Of course," I answered honestly.

He continued to ruminate over the information. "Am I happy?"

"That they're gone?" I asked in shock. "You're heartbroken!"

Patiently Tom shook his head. "No, am I happy with life?"

I held my breath. Was I happy with life? It seemed to be a pivotal question. Was I happy not recently. I had all but fallen to pieces in recent times. Not just because of Tre'kent, either- I had really lost it with my genetics. "Not at the moment," I resolved finally. "You were betrayed by someone whom you loved and whom you thought you knew."

In sympathy, Tom clicked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk then I really am not happy," he remarked, his voice comforting and soothing. "Is there something that would make me happy?"

I shrugged. "Possibly"

Tom nodded. "More than likely, I would wish for that very thing." He gave me a hug and stood up. "You have a great deal of thinking to do, Christy." It was my turn to nod. I had no desire to use my voice, because I feared that it would crack and betray me. "Is it okay if I leave?" he asked with concern.

I nodded again. "Thanks," I squeaked.

"Anytime you know where to find me if you want to talk some more," came the words as he left the Holodeck for the second time.

For a while I sat there. What would make me happy? What would take away all the hurt? As I gulped, I decided to take a logical approach. Where was the hurt coming from? This was a question that should be answered first. But there was no doubt in my mind that the hurt streamed from the open wound my father had delivered. He had betrayed me, and what I couldn't understand was why. If only I could ask him. Why? "Why?" I whispered.

"Perhaps you should ask that to the person who has the answer," a voice speculated. I looked up to see Ensign Wildman- I hadn't even heard her come in. With joy, I flew from my seat and hugged her; it had been so long since either of us had seen each other.

Samantha gently steered me back to my seat. "I'm glad to see you too, but I can't stay long."

I tried to clear my head and find something to say; there were so many things that wanted to get out first. "I'm sorry, I meant to come talk with you more often, but I wasn't feeling like myself, and when Tre'kent went, I just went nuts, and I wanted to be left alone, and I was being truly horrible, but I didn't realize"

Samantha put her hand up to stop my rambling. "I don't want an apology, Christy. I just want to know if you're all right."

I went and gave her a hug again, tears spilling from my eyes. What had I done to deserve a friend like her? She _always_ seemed to understand and be here for me all at the same time. "Thank you," I whispered, letting her go reluctantly. "I'll be fine now."

Samantha nodded with some relief. "Naomi and I were worried."

At the mention of Naomi's name, I smiled. "Is she all right?" I asked shakily.

"Getting bigger everyday," she noted lightly. "Whatever is the matter?" she exclaimed with some alarm as a shadow passed over my face.

"If you had a burning question that only one person could answer, would you ask them?"

In all fairness, Samantha gave the question some thought. "Yes," she confirmed finally. "If it mattered that much, I would- no matter what obstacles I had to cross."

"And what if," I added silently, "what if you weren't sure that you were ready to hear that answer- would you still ask if you had a golden opportunity."

Standing up slowly, Samantha shook her head. "That is something each must ask himself. If you are not ready, then nothing I say, or nothing anyone else says, can change that. But if you are, you have the opportunity to put some of your troubles at rest."

"How do you know if you are ready?" I persisted.

My friend shrugged. "_Ich weiß nicht _I know not. _Dieses ist eine Frage, die jedes für entdecken muß _This is a question that each must discover for himself." She began to walk towards the door, just as Tom had done. "You need to ask yourself, and listen to your heart. No one can answer the questions you have, but the one who holds the answer. Think about that."

The doors hissed shut behind her. No one but my Father had the answers, I grudgingly admitted. Was I ready to hear them?— I had no idea. Samantha had seemed to think that it was a matter of listening to my heart. With a sense of desperateness, I closed my eyes, and listened like I had with Peter. I crept slowly through my mind, down my neck, and into my heart. I slinked through the darkness and found the light. Well, Christy, I thought, am I ready?

Out of the blue, a thought flew into my mind. Where had the idea of returning to earth briefly come from? Myself I had thought the idea up I was ready to return home and confront my family

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as the white light faded. "I'll be back for you later," came Peter's voice from out of nowhere. In the time it took for my eyes to adjust, I confirmed that I was right where I wanted to be, on the path to the Lab.

A faint sense of alarm rose in my throat when I saw that the bench I had often rested on in this grove was missing, its cement foundation strangely bare. Even the path I stood on was overgrowing a tad with weeds. I shook it off; my Father probably hadn't the strength anymore to properly maintain it, that's all.

All sense of calm was lost, however, when I saw the Lab. Dust and dirt covered the windows with a thick coat of grime, and the place looked as if it had been deserted for an eternity. Distressed, I raced to the door to find it locked. Naturally I picked up the doormat and reached for the key— only it wasn't there.

_Ungerade_ odd, that particular key never left its place under the doormat. I backed up, standing on my tiptoes to reach the spare in the gutter. All I felt was dirt and rotting leaves. I went for the spare under the flowerpot, now only full of a variety of weeds, but nothing was there as well. There was only one more spare key that I knew of; it was the key I had buried many years ago in case of an extreme emergency. No one, except myself, knew where that key was. My heart pounding in my throat, I backtracked to the flowerbeds, in front of the lab. It had been under the forth tulip in the last row, but there were no flowers anymore. They were long dead. I dug with a sense of urgency in the spot I thought might be it. With mud spewing to all sides, I continued to dig until my hands touched the cold metal.

I let out my breath. Surely there was an explanation for all of this. When I got into the lab, I was sure that I would find things as they once were. Perhaps in the time I had been gone, we might have been robbed, and, for security, everyone had his or her own key now.

I shoved the key in the lock, and it turned with a high pitched grinding sound. Every millimeter of the way the lock complained, as if it hadn't been used in a long time. The sight inside only served to reinforce that impression. Dust covered every surface; the lab tables were free of every item, except in the corner that had been mine. The furniture to the side was covered with white sheets, although there were pieces missing. My Father's chair was no longer there, but my couch and the table I had often used were. And the old telescope- it still stood in front of the filthy window as if it had been left to rust.

I moved to the lab tables; all the computers and machines were gone. I flung open every cabinet, every drawer. They were all empty and covered with inches of dust and cobwebs. Kenneth's station and my father's were no more. There wasn't a sign that they had even existed left. At the end of the lab table at my station, however, the story changed. Papers were spewed everywhere, and the computer was there. I reached out a shaky hand and picked up the papers, fearing the worst. The Photosynthesis of Stars the title read, by Christy Anderson- it was the project I had been working on before I left. I flipped the microscope light on and peered down to see an old slide of chlorophyll, just like I had left it. The computer, startlingly, was still on, and I placed my hand on the scanner to activate the screen. The machine read my handprint and sputtered the display to life- my experiment data and logs flashed on the screens. This was just like the day I left.

Unnerved, I rushed to the closet, unsure of what I would find anymore. The scene was not much less bizarre. Boxes crowded the floor, all labeled: CHRISTY. I grabbed one out and opened it, documents spilling out, my scientific publishings. Another box held data PADDs, probably ones I had left scattered around at home and at the lab. Some boxes held clothing, and others held various memorabilia of mine: jewelry, books, knickknacks, plaques, awards, my lab equipment, and pictures. These were my things, or things that related to me, all jammed in a closet? It didn't make sense; you would think I had died.

To the side, a golden frame caught my eye. I almost cried when I saw the picture it contained. Kenneth, my Father, and I sat side-by-side smiling carefree. I kept the picture in my hands and shut the door, wishing dearly that I could shut those mental pictures inside with the boxes. There were no answers here in the lab, only questions. I had to go home to see what the matter was. Determinedly, I picked up the telescope as well, uncertain of how my family had rationalized the decision to leave such a precious heirloom behind.

As I exited out the side door, I saw the first sign of life- my cat's food bowl was filled with food and water. I set my armful aside and squatted low to the ground. Hoping against all hope, I began to whistle softly. Within five minutes, a black cat padded into view. He approached me carefully, sniffing around, unsure if I was to be trusted. "_Nacht_ Night," I called kindly. The cat, now in recognition, bounded up towards me, purring softly against my legs. I picked the black fur bundle up and held him to my chest. "You're alive," I whispered thankfully. "Oh, _Nacht_," I exclaimed quietly, "who is feeding you?"

It seemed as if my family had all but boarded up the doors to the lab. Despite my desire otherwise, no one had been here in years. A sudden explanation sprung into my head. Perhaps Fr. Flannigan had come to hear of this and was feeding _Nacht_ now. With Fr. Flannigan in mind, I thought about the chapel, realizing how much I wanted to see it, if just for a moment.

My feet led me down the five miles of familiar path though the small forest. I had walked this way so many a time with Kenneth, but today was much different. The little chapel came into view, and I released a breath of relief as I realized that it looked just the same. Even the bench was still in the courtyard. A smile crept over my face, and tears were on the brink, when I realized that this was Earth, not the holodeck. The chapel was really here in front of me. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I reached out a shaking hand to open the door. The air inside was cool, and smelt still of faint incense. The sun streamed in on the east side windows, and I sank down in a pew to the right of the aisle after I genuflected. It was still here, just like old times.

With sadness, I bowed my head and prayed, remaining silent for many long minutes. The lab every time I thought of the lab, my hands started shaking it was so hauntingly different. Where had everyone gone? Did we still live in the white house twenty miles away? How would I find them in just one day if they had moved?

The sound of shuffling feat behind me startled me from my train of thought, and involuntarily, I started to my feet. I turned around to see who the visitor was; perhaps it would be someone who knew what had become of my family. But I was not prepared to see who stood at the end of the aisle- Kenneth.

The vision of friendliness flinched at the sight of me and stood as still as stone, eyes wide as saucers. Suddenly a smile came over his face and he bounded up towards me. Taking me in his arms affectionately, he swung me around, and very firmly pulled me close, kissing me passionately on the lips.

Shocked, I freed my right hand and slapped him across the face. "How dare you!" I yelled.

Kenneth backed up, as stunned as I was. "Chris," he addressed, "you're not a vision? Is it really you? Oh my gosh!!!" He rushed forward and swung me around again, hugging me in a vice like grip. He planted light kisses on both my cheeks, tears of happiness streaming down his face. "I'm sorry- I thought thought that you were a vision I've wanted to do that since forever It's really you, and you're not going to disappear" But suddenly his countenance changed. He grabbed my arms angrily and started shaking me voraciously. "How could you??! How could you do that to your family? Whatever possessed you to run away for three years? That was an incredibly selfish decision! How could you not even send word that you were okay? Do you have any idea how much pain you've caused?"

Scared, I pulled away from Kenneth. "I didn't run away!" I shouted furiously. "I have been stuck on Voyager— I couldn't come back until now."

His expression changed rapidly from one of pain to one of disbelief. "That's sacrilegious, Chris! How could you insinuate such a thing? The U.S.S. Voyager has been declared lost now for a year. You know that Tom Paris was on that ship. If only Admiral Paris could hear you, he would Out of all the petty excuses to come up with! I cannot believe that you would be that heartless!"

My temper was seething. "I am not making up excuses! Kenneth, Voyager isn't lost! We're in the Delta Quadrant! I got put there accidentally! There wasn't enough time to get back!"

Kenneth only shook his head. "And to think that your Father thought you were kidnapped You merely ran away! Have you no shame?"

"_Bin ich überhaupt zu Ihnen gelegen? _Have I ever lied to you?"

Kenneth stopped ranting and stared at me. "Three years ago I would have said no, but now I just don't know, Chris, I don't."

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "_Sie müssen mir glauben... Ich kam nach Hause für einen Tag, aber ich muß zurück gehen_ You have to believe me I came home, but I have to go back."

"Back?" he asked.

"It's only a temporary trip The technology I used to get here can't keep me here permanently. I have to be taken back to the Delta Quadrant."

Kenneth sighed, knowing in his heart that I was telling the truth. "You're here and I shouldn't care," he said hugging me enthusiastically, "I wouldn't care if you spent the last three years in a Klingon monastery you're back at least!"

I smiled and hugged him back, happy just to see my friend again. "What happened to the lab?" I whispered quietly in his ears.

A change came over Kenneth's face, and the spark of happiness went out. "Your Father closed it a month after you disappeared he dumped all of your stuff in the closet. I've been going back three times a week to feed _Nacht_."

I laughed. "Thanks, Kenneth, I'm sure he appreciates it _Ist meine Vater vertiefung? _Is my Father well?"

My friend's face fell again. A look of pain flashed across his eyes. "Oh, Chris," he muttered, "your Father he's well, but your Mother I'm afraid"

His voice cut off. Pain began to seize my heart. Realization hit me like a brick- since I was twelve she had always been sickly, but she had always been all right, my mother was always going to be all right, she was going to get well one day. "She's she Is she all right, I mean, of course she's all right, right?"

Kenneth shook his head. "I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this."

At that moment, I could have gagged. "When did it happen?" I asked, pain flooding my vision. She had always been all right, why, why?

"She died last year in February."

Anguished sobs came up from my throat. I grabbed onto Kenneth for support and cried into his Starfleet jacket. This wasn't the time to cry, though. Getting a hold of myself, I pulled back and wiped my watering eyes with the end of my sleeve, finally taking a good look at my friend. He was wearing a more modern Starfleet cadet uniform he was probably half-way through his years at the Academy. "I want to go home now," I whispered softly. Kenneth only nodded, picked up the telescope besides me, and helped me out.

Three hours later, I stood in my own kitchen, my Father across the table. He hadn't even asked where I had been for the past three years. And he took the statement at face value when I said that I had to go back. Neither one of us had yet approached the subject that was still aching in our souls. "Lieutenant?" he laughed. "I always knew my daughter would get into Starfleet. Look at you, now, I'm so proud."

Kenneth raised his eyebrows from where he sat next to my Father. "It's not fair," he pouted, "You've always accomplished everything ahead of me. I still have two more years to go before I graduate."

I smiled wickedly. "Guess it proves who's smarter"

From five feet away, Kenneth swung at me. "No need to be snobbish."

In pity, I put a contrite look on my face. "_Ich entschuldige _I apologize," I swooned effortlessly.

The table burst into laughter. "_Es ist wohl, daß ich Sie Haus wieder habe. Es hat viel Gelächter hier nicht seit Ihnen nach links gegeben _It is well that I have you home again. There has not been much laughter here since you left."

We went on, recounting old times, catching up on news. I told my Father about Voyager, and he asked no questions, despite how ridiculous it sounded. I cooked lunch and finally supper, and all the while realizing how empty the house felt without my Mother. Father said it had been a peaceful going, no pain at all. He even told me that in her last moments she had sworn that someone had told her I was to come home again from far away. We cried together about that, letting go of the pain- my Father had held it in for so long, afraid to grieve while I was away. Kenneth, in the mean time, had taken good care of my Father. His sister had graduated from highschool, and she had gone on to college, living now with an aunt of hers. My brothers were called from their work on Jupiter Station, and they arrived home in time for supper. We all laughed, and we cried, and I realized that going home was probably the best choice I could have made. It felt so good to see them all again. Three years was by far the longest time I had been away from my family, but there was bound to be a longer time before I could return again.

Finally around eight o clock, I asked the three of them, William, Karl, and Kenneth, to leave the room for a moment. The air, which had been so full of laughter, fell ominously silent, as they each excused themselves to go to the living room. My Father's gaze fell to the floor, unfocused, staring out into space, not really seeing at all. "_Dich wissen _You know," he said quietly. "_Ich kann den viel erklären _I can tell that much."

Something within my heart snapped. He hadn't denied it. "_Er hängt nach ab, mit was Dich befassen. Meine Genetik? Dich haben Recht; Ich weiß _It depends upon what you are talking about. My genetics? You are right; I do know."

Shame covered his face like a mask. "_Ich kann für dieses, meine Tochter nur entschuldigen. Ich war falsch _I can only apologize for that, my Daughter. I was wrong."

"_Warum? _Why?"

My Father swallowed, there were tears in the back of his eyes, tears that he was trying to choke down. "_Es war Unrecht, meine Tochter. Ich dachte nur an das Schützen. Aber ich war das Unrecht, sehr falsch. Diese drei Jahre dachten I, daß Sie durch sie kidnapped. Ich holte dieses Wissen vor dem Rat, und sie lachten an mir. Ich kann nicht sogar vorstellen, wie Sie fühlen müssen. Ich bin traurig_ It was wrong, my Daughter. I only thought about protecting myself. But I was wrong, very wrong. These three years I thought you were kidnapped by them. I brought that knowledge in front of the Council, and they laughed at me. I cannot even imagine how you must feel. I am sorry."

It was no miracle answer- in fact, it was all that I had expected, but it had come from him. There was a broken and tormented man sitting in front of me. His apology was more than enough. It could never make up for what he had caused me, but it was enough to begin the process of healing. I rushed over and hugged him. As our chorus of sobs and tears became louder, the three in the other room came in suddenly and joined us in a moment of sheer reflection. We stood there around my Father, just hugging each other. For my broken family this was enough.

At 22:00 hours, Peter came back for me in a flash of light. The others in the kitchen backed up, clearly surprised. Like a phantom, I sauntered over to his side and disappeared, wordlessly and unwillingly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Bridge was awfully quiet when I walked on it the next day. Most of the senior staff had taken their positions already. The Captain was silently sipping her mug of black coffee. Chakotay sat next to her in his chair, reading crew reports. Tom was at the helm, his fingers flying noiselessly over the controls. Harry stood at the Ops Station, staring intently at the displays. Even Tuvok had himself engrossed in altering security. No one even looked up when I walked on the Bridge, five minutes late, and carefully took the Science Station. I began the work for today, setting up sensor sweeps and sending the data down to Stellar Cartography.

The silence only grew more profound, and at the point where I almost couldn't take it anymore, a strange gust of air blew through the Bridge. People looked up surprised and scanned the room. The air was blowing around the room recklessly and strongly, and all we could do was merely look around.

**Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, **a voice boomed. The scent of Enkarrian roses filled the air, and the aroma was so pungent, it inflamed my senses. I suddenly knew that the message was from Peter, that somehow this was his goodbye. He would now be an invisible presence in my life. I also knew that the roses he had given me were no longer in my room, but instead were back in their proper place, withered away. He had finally excepted that while life ended, the end didn't really matter as long as it was spent fully.

I couldn't have been anymore surprised when the sound of a downpour filled our ears. It sounded like something of incredible weight was scraping against the hull of the ship.

Janeway no longer waited to spring into action. "Lieutenant Tuvok, what is that sound?" she demanded, her phasor in her hand.

Tuvok stoically looked puzzled. "Thousands of molecules are passing right through our shields at an alarming rate."

Harry flew over his controls. "The molecules- they're appearing from nowhere! They are just appearing and disappearing- I don't understand it." 

The scent of a spring rain floated on the air. Somehow I already knew what to expect, and I scanned a small sample of the molecules, crying shamelessly. This was what I had told him; Peter was giving me back what I missed the most. "It's H2O, Captain," I answered hollowly when the results came back. "It's raining, Captain," I breathlessly observed as the downpour miraculously came down into the bridge, drenching all of us. "It's raining, Captain."

**_Das Ende _The End**


End file.
